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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Should I tell my wife’s family to back off from asking my wife for advice after her surgery?

My wife will soon undergo major surgery. She is the middle child of her siblings, all of whom are in their 50’s. She is the great organizer for her family, Her siblings, and sometimes her parents, actively seek her input and advice. It’s like she is their mom the way they follow her around when she visits them My wife and I have two kids of our own. Her siblings and parents think nothing of calling her anytime to ask for my wife’s input of issues like having difficulty in their job to what to do when one of their kids misbehaves in school because my wife is in the educational field. These calls last a minimum of two hours. My wife will be having surgery soon, as I wrote earlier. She has already told them she is not going to be able to help them after her surgery. Should I also tell her family the same thing and to refrain from asking her for help? 

4 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    If she's already told them then it would be redundant for you to repeat that message. I do understand that you feel helpless and are looking for ways to feel like you're helping. But it sounds like she's forewarned them already herself. Your only contribution would be if after the surgery they continue to call her all the time. If that becomes the case then you could send a diplomatically worded group email to them asking them to consider your wife's fragile condition. But don't create a problem where none et exists. 

  • 1 month ago

    Assuming she's the educated, compassionate and helpful person you've described, she can speak for herself.  This isn't your issue.  It's her issue.

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    No, she has already told them. 

    If necessary, all you have to do 

    is screen her calls and let them 

    know that she is not available. 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Your wife told them, so I would wait and see if they follow her instructions. If not, and they ask, say, "Sally told you she would not be able to help. What part of that don't you remember or understand?"

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