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Am I failed at being a human if I don't reproduce?
I am 30 yrs old man who is selfish and all I want for life is to live happily without any strings, I just want to take care of my mom and live however I want with the good money I got from doing IT. I don't like kids, and I also don't feel like I am patient enough to take care a kid, but I am a EXTREMELY responsible and disciplined, meaning I don't like kids, but if I had a kid, I will take very good care of it and be the best dad in the world FOR SURE. Because I didn't have a dad so I want to be a good dad to makeup for it. But i'll have to force myself to do it and I will not be happy. I also dislike marriage. My mom is sad about not gonna have a grandchild. And someone told me technology all living things only have one job: To reproduce. That got me thinking, am I a failure if I don't reproduce? Is there something wrong in my head for not wanting to reproduce? I don't have the urge to do so at all.
Please don't give me the goody goody, tell me what u really think. Is it weird for a guy with high level of education and makes good money not wanting to reproduce?
- 2 months agoFavourite answer
When you say you are 30 & you still want to live your life the way you want. THAT RIGHT THERE, should tell you the answer you are looking for. You are obviously still in the selfish phase of your life. If you don’t want to look after anyone but yourself, than don’t. Later in life, you my reach a point when you realize that there is more to life than just you or what you want. It’s not uncommon for 30yr olds (be they male, or female) to feel like they don’t want kids. That doesn’t make you a failure as a human being. It just means that you are still in the selfish phase of your life. Don’t beat yourself up for that. We all mature at different rates, some sooner, some later than others. But there is a downside to having a prolonged selfish phase; if you’re not careful, life will pass you by & before you even have a chance to realize it, reality will hit you like a ton of bricks & you’ll look around & realize that your all alone. Because all of your old friends are married & have kids & different responsibilities. And you will be spending less & less time with them as they now have a family. Please be careful about letting life pass you by
- Amit YLv 52 months ago
No. You are pretty cool.
- 2 months ago
first thing is if you want to have a better future and goals. you need to change the way you are means you dont need to change how you are .means if you want to have a better future should plan your goals by get a book and that has no pictures or written on them you can get a blank lines note book and use own words and mind and start writting down what your big plans is that you want to make a better life for you and to be a good better person not keep taking the wrong choice just keep your dream go forward and keep going until you got everything planned then do it so make you and your mom be happy and safe way. if you dont want to mess up with the old things you had done before. you can change that and make some new changes for your life. if you had made mistakes you can fix it by talking about it with your mom or someone you can trust worthy and will sit by you and listen what you are going through and talk about it.maybe you can make some new changes to have a better future for you and your mom. but part where you said you like to take care of your mom that is a good thing to do. if you had a good job that pays good and not being late for work . if you go to work on time every day then make some good money and save up some money for helping your mom to paid the bills and buy grocery shopping some time . she will be happy that she has a good son . some times if get good weather you should take her out and get some ice cream or order some foods for take out and you should spend more time with her whenever you can because its good do so . so she wont worried too much about your life. you dont need make babies with girls if you dont want any children right now. dont have sex usually you are ready to find the right person that you want to spend whole life with and find someone better who dont mind you still living with your mom. if you have plenty of time to find a good girlfriend out there but not now. maybe when this covid 19 ends whenever will be. but right now you should think about what you should be doing ? always make sure that you are not being used by one thing from any women, you know what i meant that.if you dont want have any kids at all then you know can use condoms its safe . or shouldnt mess around . take care of your self and your mom healthy more risk to be sick. if you are doing some bad drugs cant get out of it there is a patch that help stop you smokeying you can find patches smoke product from drug stores . and if other reasons you going through hard time .maybe you can find some thing to do or talk to some body who can help you what you going through. taking a walk helps take stress out and some times .good luck and i hope ful you make some changes in life.
- 2 months ago
Society pressures to say get married, have kids and a family, and that's just how it is to have a successful normal life. Is it really? Just be happy, be successful in whatever you want, do good and you'll be fine. Life is to short to be worrying about what others say. Don't mess your life up, and don't worry about that reproduce garbage. Is that person religious?
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- BlushLv 62 months ago
No, you are who you are. If you don’t like children, don’t do it.
I will say though, I thought I hated kids too until I actually hung out with some. They can be pretty cool when given a chance. So if you hate the idea of them, give them a chance to surprise you.
- RebzLv 52 months ago
Nothing wrong with not wanting children. There are people out there that have children when they really shouldn't. Think about that.
- KTJoeLv 72 months ago
The goody, goody, not everybody's meant to be married, have children or be a rocket scientist. Not about failing or winning, its about how your life's been, perhaps slightly childlike. Agree?
- garryLv 62 months ago
no smart , who wants extra bills , kids cost money , your hard earnt money . do you want someone leeching off you for 20 years , having a wife is bad enough , wives are good if you like being broke .. remember success is measured in what you earn and have . not in paying out your income on kids .
- Suzy Suzee SueLv 62 months ago
Woah I could have written this but I'm 36 going on 37 and a female!
- LLv 52 months ago
My youngest son, who just turned 45-years of age, has been in tons of relationships, however, never married and never had any kids.........just pets. I do not look at his as a failure at all..................he's my son and I'm proud of him. He works hard every day and enjoys his life...............that's about all a parent can ask for.
- Anonymous2 months ago
None of the selfish people I know claim to be selfish, in fact they are always in denial about it. So what I really think is that you are a lying troll or some type of narcissist woman trying to prove your boyfriend is a jerk because he doesn't want marriage or kids like you do. You may just need to face the fact that he may want marriage and children, just not with you.