Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Do married couples ever live overseas from each other?

I’m an Australian woman and I’m dating an African American man.  He’s in college and I have a part time job, but because of my disability, I can’t work full time.  To move him to Australia if we were to get married.  He’s currently in college and unemployed, but seeking employment in the IT industry.  If neither of us finds full time work, would it be realistic to get married but continue to live in different countries until one of us has enough money to make the other a citizen of their country?  Both of us will inherit our relatives’ homes and a middle class income eventually.  Not that we want our families to die off, by any means.  I’m just saying that eventually, we can live together, but possibly not for years; but visit each other regularly?

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Is it realistic? NO, since neither of you can support the other at this time. Or even afford to visit on any sort of regular basis. 

    Speaking practically, living in two different continents is damned hard, specially if you two haven't had time to actually BE together to get to know each other, well before getting married. Apart from being able to say "I am married" what does that sort of marriage bring to each of you? Not much at all. And the whole "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is so much crapolla if that absence spreads into years rather than just days or weeks. Long absences can have you craving for the sort of things marriage should bring you - physical closeness, someone to be there for and with you, to be able to share your day to day life, etc. Wanting someone to do that with often leads to cheating, when the other is NEVER there. Not that I am endorsing any form of cheating, just acknowledging it DOES happen. That's my opinion on that. 

  • boj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Not thats not realistic. No point in being married if youre gonna be seperate. Your plans should be to bridging the gap so you will be together and have full time employment. Also if your disability stops you from working full time you should be receiving financial assistance.

  • 1 month ago

    While I hate to be a wet blanket, something about this situation smacks of scamming and I would be very cautious if I were you! Have you been sending money to your boyfriend?  If so, STOP !  There are lots of promises, wooing and sweet talk, all of which could be lies. For all you know, you could be talking to a sixty five year old woman, who lives in Nigeria!

    have you ever even met this person? I hope I'm wrong. But if you are asked to send money, in any amount, do not do it and see what happens next! Good luck! 

  • 1 month ago

    This is not going to work, dear.  Long distance relationships never work for the simple fact that both men and women need physical contact with their lover.  Without that, one or both will seek a lover locally...eventually.  And it has nothing do with with willpower.  You can't make yourself stay faithful, as physical affection is a need...just like food, water and air to breathe.  The tragedy is, both will cheat eventually but the FIRST one to cheat takes all the blame for the relationship failing...(which ignores the reality that both would have cheated eventually).  

    If you could visit each other "regularly" it might work.  But you'd have to define "regularly" as once or twice a month, minimum.  

    Then throw in the travel restrictions due to the pandemic which will wrap itself up in about 5 years or so...

    And it's hopeless...

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