Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Problem between my parents?

I'm still in high school living at home. I love my parents and they get along for the most part, but there's something that has always bothered me. My mom interrupts my dad pretty much all the time, and it's been happening a lot recently. The other day he was just sorta talking about something on his mind, and I knew my mom wasn't listening and I was just trying to act focused on something so she wouldn't talk to me/interrupt him, and sure enough she said to me, "Did you see the new water bottle I got you?" or something. I didn't answer her and my dad just goes, "No one listens." In the past, he'll just stare at me and say, "I don't exist." 

I fricking hate being caught in the middle like this. I tell my mom, "Hey dad was talking," but she gets really annoyed that I'm not "siding with her." She just floats between everything and I can't stand it. But what also annoys me is my dad's mouthing off when he thinks I can't hear, about how "she hates him" or how "she's impossible" or how he never should've married her.

My friend's parents are divorced, and though my parents seem to still be in love, sometimes that would be easier. I just get so stressed during every single conversation at dinner. My dad does talk very slow, thinking about his words, and I'm secretly urging him to hurry before my mom interrupts him or asks me to put the ketchup away. Or if they're both yelling at me, she'll just hurry over him and get to the point. 

I wish she listened and he talked faster. 

Update:

Ok, perhaps I made this sound worse then it is. They show affection to each other and obviously care for each other. It's just this .

3 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    When you say your parents get along "for the most part", I'm not sure what you're comparing them to, but some of the stuff you mentioned is pretty serious.  I grew up in a similar type home (in fact, your last sentence made me laugh, because it was so true in my home), but there is no way my parents ever talked to each other the way yours do.  They were madly in love and we kids knew this.  Stuff like hating each other or "I never should have married you" is very hard for kids to listen to, and it's not the way a happily married couple communicates.

    The problem is what you do.  Since you write really well, one option is send an email to both of them.  These can be ideal because they read it and then take some time to reflect, rather than having to say something in the moment.  Go for full disclosure, because the more honest you are, the more they'll realize.  For example, you need to come down hard on dad with that stuff you overheard.  Tell him no teen wants to listen to this.  With mom, it might be more difficult, but try telling them how it feels to YOU when she disrespects dad like this  If you think about it, you might come up with better examples.  

    Then figure out how to begin and end it.  You do want to point out that you love them and appreciate all they've done, but some of this isn't working for you.,

  • 1 month ago

    Your parents are "divorced" but still having dinner together? What's the deal here?  You cannot resolve what is between them, stay out of it. They have already more or less done so, by divorcing...unless dessert is calling.

  • Kelley
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    At the next family dinner tell them:  "Mom I wish you would listen and Dad I wish you would talk faster."  I also recommend Christian Marriage Counseling for your parents in order for them to learn how to love each other better. 

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