Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Why do people think at 23 you should be living on your own?

I live at home, my mom and I own and run a family business, we pay bill 50/50, I have my own credit cards, she has hers, we pay ours separate. She doesn't pay my bills or vise versa. But everyone is saying I am immature, I been working with the family company (cleaning up, answering the phones, getting paid, aka allowance $150 a week, since 10 y.o) So why do people insult me so bad saying I am so immature, I don't want or have a bf due to getting raped 4 times, by family. So it is just my mom and I which we enjoy. My dad killed himself when I was an infant, so no dad in the picture.

Update:

Thank you so much anonymous!!!! 

Update 2:

@ Dr.Stephanie I currently am in therapy I see a Trauma therapist, due to covid I see her virtually. Thank you for your concern.

Update 3:

I been seeing my therapist for years, but the rapist is very close family which lives next door, and my mom lived in our current house for 40 years, 2 months after he raped me he moved into the house right next door (his parents bought it), and the cops never filed charges as they said he was a minor as well I was 15 at the time I was 14.  Well he got community service. That's it.

4 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    It's just American culture. Many people think after the age of 21-22 that young adults need to be away from their parents. It helps them grow as a person and gets them to understand how the real world works. Some young adults like to get out on their own because it gives them more freedom to date, party, etc. (However don't let people dictate your feelings because everyone's situation is different. Run your life the way you want it designed.) Multi-generational households are becoming fairly common these days. Are you pulling your weight at home? If your mom is okay with the arrangement, it is what it is.

    I was still living home at 23 and worked at a supermarket. My cousin used to call my mom up and instigate things about me not being in college, not having a boyfriend, etc. There's more to judging a person's character. It's funny how he always put me down for having a low wage job, but never said anything about a unemployed relative in his 40s still sponging off his parents. Sometimes people are too nosy.

    When you're in your early 20s, it's a hard age to be. There's so much crippling pressure to succeed, live someone else's life, and be what they want you to be. A lot of people like to relive their lives through today's youth because they feel they made mistakes. That pressure comes from the people around you and it usually goes away when you get older. 

    If people insult you, just ignore them. It shows independence and emotional maturity. The outside world's opinions shouldn't matter to you.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    To each his or her own: if you and your mother enjoy the present arrangement, and if it "fits" for you, then by all means, continue and ignore the comments from others. However: you raised an additional concern, albeit glossing over it superficially: you were "raped four times"??? Why aren't you in therapy for such a traumatic experience? !

  • 1 month ago

    Pay them no mind.

  • 1 month ago

    Again, this sounds like another troll question a 15 year old made up.

    But just in case its real. Theres nothing wrong with your situation. Everyone leaves home at some point. Theres 30 year olds living with their parents still.

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