Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Depressed about turning 18? ?

I'm a senior in high school and I will be turning 18 real soon.  I don't have anything planned because my parents aren't really going to let me go anywhere.  I might hang with my BFF, but our parents won't let us have a sleepover and neither of us can drive.  So I might just end up having a meal with my family.  This whole year has been crazy and I've felt so depressed because I also lost someone really close to me in May.  I don't want to celebrate, but at the same time, I feel like I should bc it's supposedly "big 18" when I'm not a kid anymore.  I also feel quite sad because I practically spent my whole 17th year in lockdown.  I don't mean to be insensitive to anyone else because I know people are going through much worse, but I feel like time is passing by too fast and I haven't done anything really fun or memorable (hanging with friends, dating a guy) yet.  

3 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I can guarantee you that there’s nothing magical about turning 18, at least where I live, aside from being able to vote and purchase lottery tickets. The vast majority of 18 year olds in the US still live with their parents, and I honestly feel that 16 and 18 are basically the same age.

    21 is a bigger celebration than 18 for most people if you live in the US, since that’s when you can legally buy alcohol, buy cigarettes and vaping products, and gamble at casinos. 18 really isn’t much to celebrate, although you should register to vote if you haven’t already done so.

    Yes, this last year has been crazy for a lot of people, and it sucks that your parents are taking lockdown so seriously. I’ve been leaving my house nearly every day since June, and got tested for COVID twice - negative both times. If you wear a mask and stay 6 feet apart from people, and avoid high-risk activities such as indoor dining, there’s really nothing wrong with going out. And with the exception of California, no part of the US is currently on a full lockdown or quarantine, so there’s nothing illegal about going out.

  • 1 month ago

    If it makes you feel any better, people who have never felt depression before have felt it this quarantine. Limited socialising and being stuck at home is not good for most anyone's mental health. I spent my 22nd birthday in quarantine, and at the time it was kind of sad because I felt like I didn't have a normal birthday like other girls my age did. It was lonely and depressing.

    However, talking to extroverts and introverts alike, everyone has suffered silently through this quarantine. Most people are just not vocal about it. Not to be a downer, but for many, their first year of college can be the worst time of their lives because they are in a new city, no friends, don't know their way around, etc so they feel awkward, scared, lonely, and depressed and feel worse because they think college is supposed to be the best years of your life. 

    Remember that everything sucks for everyone, so all you can do is make the best of it for yourself. Instead of leaning into the depression and letting it take ahold of you. If anything, try to take advantage of this time of quarantine to find out more about yourself. 

    Ask yourself: What do you really like in life, what subjects interest you, which interests don't interest you (these help you figure out what major best fits your interests), discover different activities that make you feel something, make friends online, reach out to people as much as you can. I have diagnosed depression/anxiety (but have been medicated) so I know these may sound like a lot of work, but its worth it because you're investing in your own happiness. 

    I promise dating will always be here. I have many friends who look like insta-models but got their first kiss at 20 years old. There are more virgins than you'd think in college. Everyone's journey starts at different times, and I promise nobody is judging you for your 'lack of experience'. If anything, there are many guys who haven't had much experience who would feel a lot better meeting a girl like you because then they don't feel that pressure of 'Am I really bad at kissing/sex, what if she hates it' and other similar thoughts. 

    Good luck, you've got this.  

  • 1 month ago

    Go to college and get a degree. You wont be young for long, that time will pass and you will be 26 working fast food.

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