Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

Why do parents always seem to love one child more than the others?

My brother is never here, i deal with all my mothers problems, do stuff for her all the time, listen to her problems, she doesn't appreciate me at all, where as he does the odd thing and talks about himself the whole time when he's here and he he gets treated like gold, shes obsessed with his kids as well, will drop me and what we were going to do like a hot potato and go running if there's the slightest chance of being around them at a moments notice, why am i not good enough?


I m probably the underachieving one but i get no points for being helpful, i think you're right i need to stop caring.

2 Answers

  • Jerry
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    It's probably something kind of stupid and not something seriously lacking in your character. I know a lady who avoids her one son because he reminds her of his father, who was abusive toward her. I know a family that is cold toward the "serious" child despite him being the one who deals with family problems, the one who gives the most to the family. They prefer the NOT serious child. "He's so easy to be around, always laughing and making jokes!" He's also frequently drunk and chronically unemployed, a mooch and a dead beat, unreliable, a liar. But he's FUN and that's that. 

    Just accept that your parents have peculiar values in this matter and don't fret yourself about it. 

    As an RN I was in nursing home management for years and dealt with many many adult children, even children in their 60s and 70s, struggling to get an aged parent to recognize "I was good; I deserved better; you were wrong about me." And I tell them to give it up; it's not going to happen. It was never going to happen and you've wasted 30,40,50 years fretting about it. You can either accept that or your make yourself unhappy brooding about it. 

  • T J
    Lv 6
    2 months ago

    I sure know how that feels, I took it for years and years. Until one time my brother was visiting, I finally had enough, and blew up at my father, in front of everyone. To my surprise, he just sat there and said nothing. No one said a word, they were all shocked my father did not open his mouth. My father was the ruler of the home, when he told you to do something, you did it, or you would pay for it. After that, he changed when my brother came to visit. I did not hold my brother at fault at all. He was my favorite bro & my friend.

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