What do I do about being harassed at work from a relationship gone sour?
I dated one of my coworkers for a whole ten days. We broke up about a month ago, but everything he does and says at work comes off as aggressive. He constantly tells me to "f*ck off" and "shut up." It is making me want to quit my job.
Does this count as harassment? Should I tell my boss, or just ask him to not schedule us together? I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but this has been going on for weeks.
I work at a restaurant part time; it's not an important job and I am looking for another one.
- Anonymous2 months ago
Let him know in a kind but firm way if he continues to talk that way to you, you will report him to the manager for harassment.
- T JLv 62 months ago
Report him to your boss, or hr. He has no right to talk to you like that. If the boss does nothing about it, you can sue the boss.
- ?Lv 72 months ago
It's a wonder why you haven't talked to your boss already.
- ?Lv 62 months ago
I’d do this. I’d tell him nicely but firmly one time, “Look so and so. What you’re doing is workplace harassment, and it’s illegal. I’m going to give you ONE TIME AND ONE TIME ONLY, to stop. If you stop now, then I’ll forgive you and not file a complaint. But if you continue doing it even ONE more time, then I’ll file a harassment complaint and have you fired. If you’re smart, then you’ll heed my warning and back off. You don’t have the right to do what you’re doing, and if you do it again you will be fired, whether you like it or not. If you stop now, you’ll be fine. Your choice”
The reason I recommend this before going directly to management is:
1) if you go to management, there’s a small (maybe 25%) chance that he either fires you, or fires both of you for dating each other which is usually forbidden between employees. Sure it’s most likely the boss will agree with you and fire him, but the problem is, it’s still a SMALL risk. So better to talk to this ex-boyfriend of yours privately first
2) If you do get fired it’ll hurt your future employment opportunities also
3) It’s just the right thing to do, to talk to him first honestly, tell him what will happen if he doesn’t fix it, and give him an opportunity to make it right. I recommend the same approach anytime in the business world, and when you’re hiring a contractor or whatever too.
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- White CloudsLv 62 months ago
Yes, it is definitely harassment. You could confide in your boss and explain the situation and ask him to schedule you at different times until things have settled down. Your boss will probably say that you never should date a colleague. It seldom works and when things get sour you have to deal with it every day. It will be in your face. But you have seen that now. The best thing is to tell your boss and apologise for starting a relationship at work. We live and we learn, that is life. https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/as...
- ?Lv 42 months ago
He needs to be a professional in the work environment regardless of the history you two have.
He's creating a hostile work environment and it isn't something you should or have to tolerate. At the very least talk to your boss to set this guy straight and get different schedules.
- Alan HLv 72 months ago
That IS harassment. Report it
- seedy historyLv 72 months ago
Any chance you can ask him to meet up for coffee and try to communicate your ways through this bitterness of a very short duration of dating? Clearly you'd not want anything to do with a fellow who treated you this way but try to mend fences before you get management involved in a very personal problem. I've never worked anywhere that encouraged dating among employees! Since it is having an affect on the work place and on BOTH of your job performances... if not nipped now in the bud then the management either will need to be asked to intervene or they simply WILL intervene and at least one of you is unlikely to retain your position. I'd think the one cursing and being belligerent to a fellow employee would be the one to get the shove unless you are a brand new employee. First, try to see if he can be adult enough to join you in mending fences. Worth the try. Don't date again, of course, but do try to mend the fence for civility.