Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 weeks ago

When would it be appropriate for my wife to try to adopt my son?

It will be two years in March that his bio mom lost custody due to drug addiction, no job, no vehicle & being a danger to him. She is allowed supervised visitation twice a week but she has participated in less than half of them and always leaves after two hours and she’s allowed six. She has not contacted me to ask how our son is or to try to see him in well over two months. During that period, a major hurricane hit our area and destroyed a lot of homes. Never once did she ask how my son was before, during or after the storm. However, she posts on Facebook just about everyday bragging that she’s doing so good, she’s sober and has had a job for over a month. 

9 Answers

  • 3 weeks ago

    Ask his bio mom if she will be willing to do that.  If she declines, tell her it's good she has a job because now you will start garnishing her wages for child support.  If she doesn't like that idea, then tell her if she relinquishes all rights to her child so he can be adopted by your wife, then she's off the hook

  • 3 weeks ago

    Your son's mother would have to legally give up her parental rights to her son forever  or have them stripped from her by the courts.  If that happens, then it would be very appropriate for your wife to adopt your son if she really wants to. 

  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    WHERE?  In MY State a child CANNOT be adopted without the written consent of both parents.  Is the child's mother willing to sign the adoption paperwork?

    You CANNOT legally force someone to be a caring parent who visits with the child.  It is unfortunate, but it is 100% true.  She has NO obligation to visit with the child, call to see if the child is well, do anything concerning the child EXCEPT pay support.  It is no different if the father had walked away.

    I haven't seen the Court Order, of course.  How did the Court address the situation?  If she is NOT straight, if she is a danger to the child, yes, you can go back to Court and ask that the Order be changed to remove visitation from her, ask the Court to "compel" her to sign adoption papers.  Some Judges are cooperative.  Others are not.

    Save those FB posts!  Does she pay Court-ordered support?  Very often in my experience a parent will sign away custody in exchange for the end of child support.

    Source(s): education/experience
  • MissA
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Loss of custody doesn't usually mean that she's lost all parental rights, so in general if your current wife wanted to adopt your son you two would have to get your ex's consent to the adoption.  This may or may not be easy.  Without her consent she'd have to be proven to be unfit (which is a high bar) or abandoned him (which means no contact for twoish years, usually).

    If her rights actually have been terminated already then you can probably begin the  process whenever you want.  I'd suggest you select a time when the relationships between you and her and her and your son are VERY well-established already.  Stepparent adoption is easier than regular adoption but you still have to jump some hoops to get it approved.

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  • 3 weeks ago

    I don't think it's up to you, it would be up to your son to determine when he feels ready to be adopted by your wife.  

  • i + i
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    Depends on where you live. In 

    some states (assuming you live 

    in the US) the other parent has 

    to agree before you can proceed.

  • 3 weeks ago

    His mother lost custody not parental rights. he can not be adopted unless his mother wants to give up her rights

  • Susie
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    I don’t know the laws in your state. But if you are in contact with the bio mom, then she would have to be notified and either agree or fight it.  I don’t know what it would take or if you can prove abandonment.  My son was adopted by my second husband and even though my first husband had had no contact for years (we didn’t even know where he was). we had to prove that we tried to contact him and notify him of the adoption attempt by posting notices in several newspapers.   He never responded to the courts, so the adoption was granted. 

  • T J
    Lv 6
    4 weeks ago

    Hold off on the adoption, but make her a legal guardian. Take your time on a do not know how things will go, between them and you.

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