I’m 21. My oldest sister died in a car accident 5 years ago. My other sister is determined to kill herself.?

Some background: I’m 21 years old as of June this year. My oldest sister was 24 when she died in 2015 from drinking and driving. She has a current 9 year old kid who is my whole life. I see so much of her within him. My other sister is now 24 of this year and has had a huge tough time getting past the death of our oldest sister. The sister that is still alive now has a two year old kid who is so smart and lovable. The sister that’s still alive, I’ll call her “B”, has gained a drinking a drug problem. She’s addmited she has full intentions to kill herself and nothing we seem to say gets to her at all. She will drink and take drugs while also driving around with her kid, which our parents have made the decision to take from her. B has been in the ER 3 times this month. She’s totaled two cars almost killing herself, though thank god her child has been at day care both those times. It seems to me she is romanticizing having a similar death to our oldest sister. How do I deal with this again so my family dosnt make the same mistakes we made with our oldest sister. She is not willing to admit herself to any hospital and refuses to share her medical records with us. I’m scared to go through this all over again, someone please give me real advice instead of just saying you feel sorry for me. Thank you so much..

5 Answers

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    She sounds as if she is close to being,sectioned

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    WHERE - and it matters.  In some States your parents can get guardianship.  In others they cannot.  I am VERY surprised that she has a history of putting her child in danger, and no one appears to have notified Child Protective Services OR the Police.  Shocked, in fact.  There is no "thank God" in TWO serious accidents when the child was not with her.  There's a "what the heck?" when the child wasn't removed from her care.  Do your parents have LEGAL guardianship of the child?

    A Physician in the hospital ER can recommend - and oftentimes force - minimally a 72-hour mental health evaluation. 

    You cannot force someone to stop drinking and/or drugging.  It's just that simple.  You can refuse to support her, finance her, do whatever else is enabling her.

    And for the record - my Dad was killed by a young drunk driver who had a terrible history with alcohol.  His family enabled him.  My Dad will always be dead.  The driver will eventually get out of jail and resume his life.

    Ask an attorney; ask a Physician - get your sister off the road.

    Sadly, I don't feel sorry for you.  I feel sorry for the person your sister is going to kill while the family watches.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    Please be forewarned, that I am no expert on this subject. I looked online briefly to see what some feasible options might be:

    How to Initiate the Process of Committing Someone

    A.) Your family doctor or a psychiatrist. --- if you can't do this option, see a different one


    B.) Your local hospital.


    C.) A lawyer specializing in mental health law.

    D.) Your local police department.

    E.) Your state protection and advocacy association.

    She has verbally admitted to the desire to suicide, and she has done acts to support that these are not mere threats to herself.  Self-endangerment is one thing, but child endangerment is another.

    If anything you should get an appointment to talk to someone at your local police station regarding the situation. My mom was put into a psych ward by police. We (her children) did not have her committed, but the police chose to do it, after she had several interactions with them.

  • 4 weeks ago

    You cannot help people who refuse your help and don't help themselves. The best thing to do is to look after your own mental and emotional health as best you can, and realize that your sister may just manage to do what she says she wants to. That way, you'll be prepared if she succeeds. If everyone in the family is on board and gets some professional help, maybe an intervention would work. And nobody should lend her a car.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    I'm going to be honest with you since that's what you want.

    Some people cant be saved. Drinking and driving is a shítty thing to do. I'm not sorry for your older sister actually. As cruel as that sounds, she could've killed someone else and it would be her fault. So I'm just glad it was her and not some other innocent person. Your sister who's still alive is acting like a piece of shít too because she could kill her innocent kid, or someone else. That girl needs to be in jail for a long time. 

    I know I sound cruel. But everyone goes through a difficult time in life. I was religiously abused growing up and than I was forced into marriage with my own cousin where I suffered in for an entire year, being repeatedly raped. I decided to leave and leave everyone, including my family and what they thought of me behind. I did not go drink and drive and try to risk my life and especially other peoples lives. Instead, I learned from life and learned my lessons and now I'm trying to better myself as time goes by.

    Its selfish to only think about your pain. Imagine the pain she might put another family in with her drinking and driving? I would call the police every time and jail her. It might stop her selfishness and start focusing on her life and her child.

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