Anonymous

Husband doesn’t want to eat dinner with the family, is this weird?

We have two kids, we keep a loose routine throughout the day, we usually eat dinner between 6/7. The past year, my husband has decided he doesn’t want to eat dinner with us and if he does, he never eats what the family eats.

For example: 

Tonight: I cooked Pasta (he mentioned earlier in the day he needed to carbo-load), about 10 minutes before it was ready he decided he wanted pizza and cooked a frozen one. He ate with us but not what we all were eating.

Some days: He refuses to eat with us all together, no matter what I cook and will eat by himself once we are done. 

All the time: Not only is he so difficult with eating separately and/or eating something different. It makes double the dishes for me. He NEVER does dishes. 

Is this normal? When I mention that it hurts my feelings he just says “What? I can’t eat what I want when I want?” Help.

4 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Is this his first step to separate the family.  He is selfish & only thinks of himself.  Does he ever cook for the family? or just himself?  Treat him just like you do your children, eat what is put on your plate or don't eat at all.  Family rules are there for a reason.

  • 1 month ago

    It's not normal. Dinner time is a moment to bond with your kids, share your day and in general set a precedent about a nice family dynamic. The fact that he's deflecting your question is a red flag. 

    He can eat whenever he wants but it's not the question. Why he doesn't want to eat w his kids? That's a huge red flag.

    Also, how come he never does dishes? what else is he not doing? he's a parent, it's his house too.

  • 1 month ago

    A conversation about this is needed. If he wants to eat his meals separately, you can certainly ask why. When the alpha male won't eat with his tribe.. there is a reason. But that reason means that he cooks and cleans up after himself because you aren't running a short order restaurant. Sounds like a real conversation need be had. Is he having trouble digesting? Hates your cooking? Is ill in an unrevealed manner? Is revolted at the kids' manners? Can you find out what it is without getting mad at him?  Can you tell him you need his help teaching the children and that you know their entire lives will be rewarded by him being at table and bonding and sharing and that none of you can really do without him?  Could he be unaware of the necessity of his input?  Try to make room to see how this might be about HIS feelings. They count too. 

  • Matt
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    sounds like he doesn't care about you or the family anymore

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