Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 4 weeks ago

Why do so many men act controlling around women they feel they can control?


@Ian, or in other words it's a simple lack of empathy/ compassion/ disregard for others because of selfishness. Everything to do with one's morals. I do not agree that we are born immoral, sorry.

4 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    Biology, not psychology, would be a more appropriate category for this question.

    (I'll add, though it won't be necessary, I hope you understand that I don't blame you. I simply think a more accurate category might yield more detailed knowledge).

    Males try to control females as much as possible because males are born that way.

    Males, females, yes. This is a widely observed behavior in non-human creatures.

    In biological terms, it's called spousal defense.

    The problem here is that men must always have a low level of paternal uncertainty.

    Suppose a woman, who should be your reproductive resource because you've had to work hard to catch her, is free to walk around at her own free will.

    If you allow that to her, she may go out and have sex with men other than you.

    In other words, respecting a woman's free will could be a blow, or worse, a defeat in the reproductive war for men.

    To avoid this, males have evolved to adapt to two different strategies.

    One is to eliminate other males from their territory and from their possessions by fighting other rival males.

    You are well aware of what this "possession" entails ?

    The second is exactly what you are wondering about.

    It's about controlling the female as much as possible.

    Males are evolved to fight and compete. Females are not. As a result, it costs less to beat or brainwash women than to fight tough rival men.

    When the optimal strategies of males and females collide with each other, the problem is that the male is the sex that has adapted to fighting. Not only his physical body, but his mental structure is adapted to competition and fight.


    empathy/ compassion/ disregard/ moral ? How do these contribute to him winning the reproductive war?

    Rather, it's the opposite.

    These emotions only stand in the way of victory.

    If you empathize with the pain of being hit when you hit someone, your attacks will be slowed down.

    Would a compassionate person harm another person in order to benefit himself?

    We can't mistreat the other person as a slave when we think they are equal.

    Morality? What I get is justice and morality... I'm the rule book!

    ...Men, on average, are made to be equipped with fewer qualities that get in the way of attack.

    Of course we can be free from this.

    Just because a man is born with more aggression does not mean he is born a psychopath.

    The average male can, of course, grow up learning that empathy, compassion and morality are important.

    We humans also have that much intelligence and scientific knowledge at our disposal.

    But I believe that knowing more about why we are made this way and why men and women around the world exhibit similar gender differences is a sure path to freedom.

    If you'd like, you might go to the library and pick up a book on evolutionary biology.

  • Jen
    Lv 4
    4 weeks ago

    I think people control because fear of losing one another.

  • Ian
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    Instinct, it's not surprising that we go to default mode, asking people in general to evolve on demand is fraught with double standards and misinterpretations of behaviors. On the instinct level, we are NOT evolved enough to combat MOST new age demands of civilised evloved behavior. Intellect is far different than evolving. We KNOW some behaviors are wrong, it's just difficult to override behaviors that have been ingrained in us for millenia. Societal norms are outpacing societal evolution.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Not everyone is the same. Guys - and woman - can be controling to anyone. Plus some people like it/some people just accept it. It's just people, funny how everyone is different ain't it?

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