Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Im so stressed out.. I dont know what to do at this point?

My best friend wants to get an apartment with me in LA. Sure LA sounds nice but it’s extremely expensive. Shes 17 turning 18 soon and I’m 19. The problem is I just dont know if we are ready for least financially ready. (I never had an actual job besides babysitting and she had jobs here and there) We want to go to LA to follow our dreams of being a model and going for an acting career while going to college and having part time jobs. I just dont want to go through the process of living pay check to pay check, but its like she doesn’t understand or she just doesn’t care. 

Her parents are pretty much kicking her out b/c they want her to be more “independent” so shes pretty much depending on me. My parents are going through a divorce. My dad will stay in San Diego while my mom goes to Texas. I dont know if I should go to Tx with my mom and save up money or stay with my dad for a while and go to LA. 

Everything is just running through my mind and I just want to cry because I don’t know what to do or think anymore. Not to mention I dont have a car at the moment since my mom will be using it to drive to Tx.

She has also stated that she didnt want to go to Tx because there is nothing there for her and her mom basically said “that isnt the right decision and we are grown enough to move away from family to become independent”

 I’m also not that close with my father so thats also a problem. Also her deadline to move out is Feb because her family is moving out of the country

4 Answers

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should talk to your friend about it

  • 1 month ago

    It's interesting you think you have some obligation to move to LA even though you're not ready financially OR emotionally.  And you aren't responsible for your friend's successes or failures and you're not responsible to babysit her by moving to LA when you don't want to.  

    "No" is a word. Maybe it's time you learn to use it.  Don't go through life being a people pleaser who says "yes" all the time to things she doesn't want to do. 

  • 1 month ago

    You have to be firm with your friend.  She's less mature than you - and you have a lot going on to deal with at the moment.  Unfortunately, she's too young to appreciate the reality of what's happening to you despite knowing about  your issues.  HER issues (which are great) are uppermost in her mind and her solution is to whiz off to LA and have a wonderful new life with her best friend.  Yes - pie in the sky.  You have reservations about it and so would I.  All you can do (and she won't like it) is tell her that although LA sounds a great idea, you can't go with her right now because you've got too much to deal with on your own plate at the moment.  Be honest with her up front.  Tell her you want to have enough money to help you start-up in LA before you actually move there.  You say 'her mom'.  Is that your friend's mum or YOUR grandmother talking?  If it's your grandmother - ask her advice about what you should do.  At the moment you have two choices of a roof over your head with either your mother or father.  Yes, at 19 you are old enough to become independent but you only do babysitting for a pittance so you need to get a proper job where you'll have a steady income to pay for accommodation wherever you go.  I suppose you could join the Forces - Army/Navy/Airforce - where you will be looked after and paid while you learn a skill you can use in the future.  Hard work - but it's a possibility for you.  Good luck

  • 1 month ago

    If your gut is telling you something is not right with your friends plan, listen to it. Your friend is young, she just wants to live the LA dream that she has seen on TV. She isn't thinking it through.

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