My boyfriend (27M) is a groomsman in his friends’ wedding. The wedding is an hour drive from our house. I have to drive separate because he has to be there hours early. Then during the ceremony he is in it and I just found out that at the reception the bride is making him sit with the bridal party. So they are sticking me at a random table with people that I’m not close to. I have major social anxiety and honestly I’m quite upset that I cannot sit with my DATE who invited me to this wedding. Would you go if you were me? We’re not going to get to spend any time together. He’s also been conveniently paired up to walk down the aisle and sit next to a girl that I strongly dislike.
- FoofaLv 73 weeks ago
It's very standard for the groomsmen to sit together so it's a bit odd that you're just figuring this out. But if you have some legitimate, diagnosed condition to where you're going to make a public scene it would be best for you to not go. If you just feel uncomfortable in crowds and around people you don't yet know...that's just called being normal and you should probably buck up and go support your boyfriend. At the very least wedding receptions tend to be boozy events where everyone looks their best. It might behoove you to be there just so he doesn't get up to any funny business.
- Common SenseLv 73 weeks ago
Grow up, take an anxiety pill and stop making his involvement in the commitment he made all about you. You do not have to attend, you know.
It is PERFECTLY acceptable for bridal attendant dates NOT to be seated at the head table.
Your insecurities, jealousy and anxiety is going to get the best of you if you are unable to manage and control it.
Bridal attendants are not handcuffed to their chairs at the head table. If you are unable to handle adult gatherings, you perhaps should not attend. What do you expect him to do, back out of his commitment? Of course not. It is YOU that must adjust.
I do not say this to be mean, it is just the facts.
- TrishLv 54 weeks ago
Sounds like you should get over yourself there's no reason for anxiety. Also, at the head table groomsmen are not paired up to sit with bridesmaids. Normally the bridesmaids sit to the right of the bride and the groomsmen sit to the left of the groom.
- KellyLv 74 weeks ago
It seems like you may not have attended many weddings.
It's very common for the bridal party to sit together at a head table for the dinner portion of the reception and for their dates/significant others/spouses to be seated elsewhere as they are not part of the wedding.
My husband is everyone's BFF so he's in a lot of weddings. Some I know people I sit with and others I do not know a soul there. Every last time, I made it through the ceremony and a dinner not sitting with him. Every wedding I watched him walk down the aisle with someone he was paired with and usually a dance with them.. each time it did not cause any issues between us. Here and there, I'm in weddings too and he does all of that too. Us being paired with someone else during a wedding doesn't take anything from our relationship with each other.
For the most part you're busy at these times when you're in wedding. The hours before the wedding preparing for it, the ceremony (obviously) after the wedding you're often doing pictures for an hour or 2 and then the beginning of the reception & dinner... after that you're pretty much free though they may have some things planned during the reception which require your participation.
Also there may be a rehearsal dinner the day before the wedding and you may or may not be invited to that.
You should not ask this couple to make any exceptions for you. You shouldn't ask him to not participate in things the rest of the bridal party is. That will make you look awfully insecure and immature at best.
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- 4 weeks ago
i would not go, tell him you dont feel good
- CammieLv 74 weeks ago
It is a bad idea to go to any social gathering during this pandemic.
That said, a wedding is a great place to work on your social anxiety.
You sit where you are told to sit, you make casual conversation and chill.If you and BF are planning to drive home after the wedding make sure neither of you has any alcohol. If you do, reserve a hotel room near the wedding.Keep safe.
- Ron AkiaLv 64 weeks ago
What they're doing is traditional at weddings and, you shouldn't worry about him at all. If you're not comfortable with the arrangements, don't go.
- PatriciaLv 74 weeks ago
First, i'd stop whining. Second, i'd check out the traditional wedding party dinner seating, which is where the bride, groom and bridal party all sit together at a dinner table.
If you're all about anxiety and being upset, then why wreck things for everyone else by going at all? No one needs to see that.
- dripLv 74 weeks ago
It is very common in the USA for the wedding party to all sit together. So quit blaming the bride. The whole wedding party sitting together at the head table is normal, traditional.
The wedding couple has no obligation to check with you as to who your BF can and can not sit with.
After dinner the wedding party can get up and mingle. He can then sit with you and dance with you.
A normal adult should be able to make small talk with others they don’t know.
I would tell you to grow the heck up. There is no reason why your BF needs to be glued to your side the whole evening.
You have major social anxiety then get help for it.
If you can not handle the evening tell your BF you won’t be going. But don’t blame this on the wedding couple.
- sunshine_melLv 74 weeks ago
Your 'date' did not invite you to the wedding. The couple invited you both to THEIR wedding.
He's a groomsman; this comes with standard responsibilities, which may include sitting separately, walking down the aisle with someone in the bridal party, and getting to the venue early to help with things.
So you need to deal with this as an adult.
If your social anxiety is such that you don't feel you can attend - then RSVP to that effect now.