Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

How do I get my mom to stop criticizing me?

It doesn’t seem like I turned out to be the daughter my mom wanted me to be. I’m more of a tomboy and dress either neutral or boyish. My mom doesn’t like this as she always compares me to other girls saying I should be more like them.

Every once in a while I get an acne flare up, which eventually goes away. But my mom wants me to always have perfect skin.. Every time I get acne she always points it out saying how ugly it looks, and then insists on me using a bunch of products to get rid of it which never work for me. And she’ll continue to point it out until it’s gone, which upsets me. I don’t wear makeup and I eat healthy so I don’t know why I get acne.

And if I tell my mom to stop and that it’s upsetting me, she just says “don’t talk back to me!” How do I get her to stop? Pls and thanks

6 Answers

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    My mother never cared much about my acne skin (although I wish she had), but she did have huge problems with me being a tomboy. She still does, and I'm a adult, married woman now (with a husband who prefers me without makeup). Just the other day, she pointed out how my cousin dresses better and has a nicer color hair than I do, so I can't give you advice on how to make her stop.

    And that's the thing, it's very difficult to change other people's behavior, but you can change how you react to them. For me, it's in one ear, out the other, and this gets much easier once you're old enough to move out.

    Regarding your skin: what you eat has very little to do with outbreaks, but of course, do continue to eat healthy for your body and health in general. Talk to your pharmacist or doctor about using Acnecide. Unless you have severe acne, Acnecide will usually be enough to prevent pimples.

  • 1 month ago

    See your doctor about the acne....or the pharmacist.  I'm assuming you are probably mid-teens so the acne is probably hormonal and there are medications that you can use to help you.  Get personal advice from the doctor/pharmacist to see if what you have been using is of any use at all. (maybe the combination of products counteract each other).  It's up to you whether you discuss this with your mother.  Ideally she'll come to the doctor with you and he will know the foods you may need to avoid.  

  • T J
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    When you can, move out, and forget you even know her. She is not a good person, and should not have had any children. What a terrible person she is.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    This actually makes my heart hurt.  I had a younger and apparently golden sister. I was the fat one.  I was the one with acne.  I was the disappointment.  My sister failed every class she ever took.  If I got one "B" my mother went ballistic.  I grew up never being enough.  Talking to her only made it worse.

    The day I turned 18 I moved out.  (My father never stopped the abuse for whatever reason.)  I put myself through college and an advanced degree.  I am now really successful, happily married, slender (it was baby fat) with clear skin and whatever other problem my mother had with me.

    I have no contact whatsoever with my mother, father, sisters.  I have an aunt I love dearly and cousins.

    You know what heals your heart and what drove me to accomplish the things I've accomplished?  Proving to MYSELF, not my mother, that I could do it.  It's not revenge.  It's a sense of knowing she was wrong.

    I am so very sorry, and I was once in your shoes.  Use her criticism to better yourself.  Never believe what she says.

    When I look back, I think my mother was jealous of me for whatever reason.  

    As I said, I walked away and never looked back, and it wasn't always easy.  Oh, my golden sister?  My mother is still supporting her.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should talk to your mom about it

  • 1 month ago

    Sounds like she has some self esteem issues....

    When shes not capping on say you know i am aware you are not fond of how i dress, how i look with a pimple but, i love you and all you faults as a parent...but you dont need to be rude i got the memo on that.

    I think id use some reverse physiology and tell her i love you after she makes a comment....

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