Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Business & FinancePersonal Finance · 1 month ago

Should I not financially help girlfriend's family with my newborn daughter because they won't let me see her?

They won't let me see her because of "anger issues" "violent person" I am a hothead that gets angry easily but I pose no danger to my 6 week old daughter. My mom said that they are trying to put child support on me, despite the fact that I am helping them financially. I was making the mistake of using cash app to pay them monthly, but recently moved to money order. Yes, I am 100% sure it's my kid. 

8 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    You need to get help for you...and the anger because you need to be more of a man as your daughter gets order without having a hot head.

    Personally id have a concern with that too around a baby.

    I think you should be paying with a money order and documentation of all money given...no cash ever..when they go to court for child support you will not look like a dead beat dad.

    After you get help, enroll in program id have a discussion scheduled talk with parents of baby's mom....and id show them that you are making an effort on the anger...you want another opportunity to be in your child's life.

    If fact, once you get the classes under your belt...i would say when you make a payment you should see baby for an hour...their house, patio, outside... just an opportunity to visit....i wouldnt keep paying if you never got to see child after classes. But, i would be saving money so when they take you to court...you can make back payment but, explain your case.

    Being a hot head is a choice...a choice to be bitchy with an attitude and an open  can of whip ***....guys like this tend to not use the brain to think first...,and... act later...they usually don't learn their lesson till they get their *** beat.

    So wise up, grow up...take some classes and use the noodle...before firing someone up.

  • Bill
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Your question is confusing.  You say you are helping your girl friends "family" financially?  What does that mean?  You are NOT obligated to help her family but you ARE obligated to pay Child Support for your daughter.  You need to go to Family Court and establish the amount of Child Support you owe and at the same time request visitation rights.  You may have to agree to Supervised Visitation if you have some anger or danger issues.  Once the Court issues the requirements BOTH sides must comply.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    That's a matter for family court.  You can take them to court to force them to allow visitation and they have the right to tell the judge why they think that's a bad idea. Whether or not you are granted visitation, you are required to pay child support. It is better to get that legally settled to protect each of you from claims by the other. 

  • Maxi
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Child support IS financial support and if you are willingly paying then your mother is spouting nonsense....BUT you need to have a reciept for ALL and ANYTHING you pay, so you can prove in court that you are and have been paying........... stop listening to your mother or  strangers online....... you need to take her to court to get legal access/visitation...... she may demand your access is supervised and you should agree  especially if you have a record of violence but child support and access/visitation ar totally separate legal issues and the reality is if your name is not on the childs birth certificate then you have zero rights in law as the father.......... as you have been paying you assume you are the father ( ONLY she knows if that is true) the court will arrange a parental DNA test to prove what you think as no court will give you legal access/visitation based on what you think and if the DNA tests proves you are the father then you have the same legal rights as she does as a parent, so you will get

    court ordered

    access/visitation  and if she breaches your access she is then in breach of a court order........

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  • 1 month ago

    Nobody can put child support on anybody.  What they are doing is getting child support court ordered, and that is what should be done, since you are paying in such an idiotic way.  I bet you haven't a clue of exactly how much you have paid to date.  The state will keep an exact record, which you might need to know later.  It will also have a record if you get behind, lose your job and can't pay, or something like that.  They can keep a record, so there won't be any ambiguity or arguing in court.  Either of you can get a print out of what you have paid to date, if and when it is needed.  Why would you stop paying?  Do you think the child doesn't need to eat every day?  They are doing the smart thing to protect the child (from the temper of a hot head).  However, you have a right to see your child.  What you should do is go to court for visitation.  If she is smart, she will request supervised visitation, because of your temper, and that will also protect you, in case she decides to get nasty and say you hit the child, when you didn't.  So, for your protection and the child's, go with supervised visitation.  But if you stop paying child support, it will hurt you in court, making you look like a jerk, so keep paying, until it is ordered by the court, and then it will be withdrawn from your pay checks.

    Source(s): Certified Paralegal, with 25+ years' experience.
  • 1 month ago

    Formalize your support obligation with a court order and get visitation rights at the same time.

  • Judith
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It is your child; it is your responsibility to contribute to her support - whether you see the child or not.  The mother of the child should be contacting the court for a court order of support to give the child legal protections.  If you fail to provide for the child's support that means that the child's standard of living will be less than what it should be.  Your support would go toward rent/mortgage, food, utilities and clothing - all necessities.

    No one thinks about social security benefits but they should.  If you die or become disabled before the child is age 18 then the child will be entitled to monthly social security benefits IF you provide support.  Support is assumed if you live together with the mother.  It is not assumed if you don't live together.  With a legal court order of support the support requirement is legally met even if you fail to pay it (it also covers nicely the issue of paternity).  Just the fact that it is legally required is all that would be needed for the child's entitlement.  I was a SS claims rep for 32 yrs and had to deny benefits to many a child because of the lack of support issue - even knowing that the child was the child of the deceased or the parent getting disability benefits because proof of paternity isn't enough - there is the issue of support as well when a child is illegitimate.

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    So here’s what you do-you go to court to get a custody/visitation order put into place. Then if they try to keep you from your daughter, they are in contempt of court and have legal repercussions. Of course, your baby’s mama will likely file for child support, but that should be okay because you want to be financially responsible for your child. Child support and visitation are two separate things, and child support is not an admission fee you pay to see your child. It is in your best interests to get both of these things put into place ASAP.

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