My husband has started taking up night shifts. Complete dynamics of our marriage is shaken. How to confront my husband with how I feel?

12 Answers

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  • 3 months ago

    Whatever he is doing its for his family. Without job, family maintainance becomes hard. So be grateful that he is working in odd times to support the family. Many people have night shifts and it is very common. 

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Unless he lobbied to work nights instead of days this wasn't his decision and your browbeating him over it would be counterproductive. Sometimes you just have to do what the boss says if you want to keep a job. it's also a bad look to make every marital conversation a confrontation. Going into discussion with this much hostility never results in a good outcome. 

  • ?
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Mrs Phay with best answer

  • 3 months ago

    Plenty of couples manage opposite shifts. If that alone "shakes the dynamic of your marriage" - I think you have a pretty weak relationship

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Hi Manya, if you're going to attempt to be a Troll you need to hide your Q history as it gives you away? from coworkers making sexual commits to feelings of jealousy towards other work colleagues, plus having feelings for your boss. |Wow, you must be completely exhausted but still found time to get married? If all the past Q's and this are accurate details of your actual life if you're not already in Therapy, you need to be? Being extremely codependent on one's spouse isn't a good trait to have, so p[lease get yourself into Therapy asap?

  • T J
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Wow, confront him?  Are you his wife or the police?  You sit down, and have a conversation with him, and try to work it out. Do you need the extra money he makes by working night shifts? Are you in debt? Be careful how you proceed, you mess it up, you could be his ex wife.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    A)  Don't confront him.  Don't expect this to all be resolved in some sudden, gigantic blow-up.  That's childish.  Let him know bit-by-bit, over days and weeks, the things about the new dynamics that you don't like.  Don't expect him to fix things because you've dramatically said you don't like them.

    B)  Don't just bring him a problem.  It's your job to work on solutions just as much as it is his job.  Be prepared to offer ideas about things the two of you can do to get back the dynamics you liked...or to adjust to the new dynamics together.  You won't end up happy if you just deliver an ultimatum.

  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    What's with all the non-English speakers posting tonight?

  • 3 months ago

    In every relationship, compromises are necessary, and this might be a big one. It might seem impossible, but the most important thing you can do is schedule time together. Whether this is just a couple of meals together a week or a full day off together, make sure you are making time for the other person whenever you can. Convey your insecurities to your husband. If nothing works, you can opt for marriage and family counselling. ‘Stress diaries’ a book by Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh will guide you well to complete this objective.

  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    If you do not know how to talk to your husband about your feelings, strangers on the internet certainly can't help you.  We do not know you or your husband.

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