Would my " friend" sabotage my wedding?

I was a bridesmaid at my friend's wedding last year. She wanted us to meet at the venue 3 hours before for pictures. We got there 30 mins late due to traffic. She became very angry which I understand, but it has been more than a year and she still talks about it. She wanted us earlier than usual for pictures which we did, but she said she wanted more pictures. I got engaged last month and the first thing she told me was to make sure I pick the right people so that ' I don't experience what she experienced". A week later, she called me asking me for my wedding plans and asked about my bridesmaids. I told her I still havent selected them. She replies with" make sure you pick the right people, you don't want anyone irresponsible or being late". I was talking to her today. She asked me if I'm doing first look photos. I told her I wasn't because I want my fiance to see me for the first time walking towards him. She said: " I wanted to do that, but because we were all late, I couldn't". I mean this is already too much. She says she wants to be a bridesmaid but I'm scared she might want the sabotage it because I was late in her wedding. Let me make it clear! It wasn't only me. The maid of honor was driving and the entire bridal party was late for pictures. I was her bridesmaid and she might not be happy if I make her one of my bridesmaids but I feel like she will sabotage it or continuously remind me that I was late to hers. What do you think? Why does she keeps bringing it up?

Update:

I confronted her about again because I already brought it up before and she said she wasn't doing it on purpose. She told me " she was looking out for me" how does that even make sense? 

15 Answers

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Since you just got engaged, here's the best advice you'll get.  (It's not mine, it was said to me when I got engaged).  Never invite drama.  Most wedding stress is self created.  A bridesmaid should be someone you are super close to and who you trust unconditionally. 

    This girl sounds like a lunatic, and it's not just because of her fixation with fake lateness.  It's also incredibly rude to ask someone if you're in their wedding party.  I hope and assume you know that just because you were in hers, it doesn't follow that she's in yours. 

    You ask why she keeps bringing it up, which is pointless.  Nobody here knows.  But stop worrying about it.  Take your time with the wedding party (there's no rush), and if she keeps asking, tell her to drop it.  Once you've decided on bridesmaids, you don't owe her a message saying "sorry, you didn't make the cut".  Let her figure it out on her own.

  • Trish
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    Make sure to apologise when she brings it up because some people will repeat because they haven't really been heard.  If she's a close friend have her in your wedding unless she's the type of person who would go to such lengths.

  • GB
    Lv 5
    4 weeks ago

    I wouldn't even invite her to the wedding.

  • I would stay away from her. Well away. She'll be knifeing you next.

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    Any one that asks to be a bridesmaid would NOT be asked.  I would not have her in your wedding.  Up to you if you want to invite her to the wedding.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    tell her "sorry, i'm not making you a bridesmaid. i'm afraid you'll be late" lmao

  • Ann
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This person doesn't sound like much of a friend.  You aren't obligated to have her in your wedding.  She will probably cause a stink about that, but it would be a worse situation if you did have her and she deliberately sabotaged your wedding.  Don't mention the matter any more with her.  If she keeps asking about bridesmaids, tell her when you make your selections, she'll know.  (That means, she might find out from the ones you pick that she's not one of the chosen ones).

  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I would comfort her on this once and for all. Otherwise her snide comments may go on forever. 

    Ask her if she is referring to you being late for her photos. It wasn’t your fault, you felt bad about and you apologize. And it time she puts it in the past and stops bringing it up.

    Honestly I think the friendship is not a healthily one. Would you want to continue it, let alone have her in the wedding party?

    If anything have her as a guest.  

     I realize for her , as a bride, having a lot of you late could of caused her to panic.  Brides are full of nerves.  But she needs to let it go.

    She may not sabotage the wedding. That is drastic. But she may spend the day reminding you that you were late to her wedding.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Write her an email telling her that while under normal conditions she'd be on your bridesmaid short list you can't bear at the constant reminders of that time you were late due to something that was outside of your control. Tell her the choice is hers, she can stop talking about the past and be in your wedding party or she can continue to harp on this and the friendship will be over. 

  • 1 month ago

    I don't imagine that it's her intention to sabotage your wedding, but I do think she's neurotically obsessed with the incident you described. 

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