Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

What to do about my family?

I’m 28, newly married and currently unsure about my relationship with parents and younger sibling (27 years old). I’ve been out the house since 17. However, I’m close to my mom, dad, and brother. We live in the same city and frequently see each other despite my parents’ failed marriage of 30+ years. It’s been in shambles since I was a young girl. My parents are separated and still married. For the last few years, my mom has been having an affair. Just recently, it’s gone to another level. It’s difficult because my parents sometimes comes to see my husband and I or we’ll go out to have dinner somewhere. On other days, my dad will tell me that him and my mom are having issues and she’s with her lover. My brother stopped caring and distanced himself from the family. After going to my mom’s home a few time and seeing her lover at her home, I told her that I am really upset at what is happening with the family and her infidelity. She told me that she’s an adult and can do as she pleases. She even called the police on me when I was at her home while her lover was there because she didn’t want me there, but any other time it is fine. She even gave me a key but took it away. My mother and I have a very close relationship but since I told her how I’m sad about what she’s doing, she’s stopped talking to me. As an adult, my mom has always been honest with me about her feelings regarding my decisions and choices in men, including my marriage. What to do?


Due to my parent’s marital issues and my mom’s affair, my family doesn’t come together as often. We’re mostly living very separate lives. 

Update 2:

I never encouraged my mom to go back to my dad. I always told her to just get a divorce and move on. I don’t know what to do because my mom tells me I’m wrong for saying she’s wrong but she has never held her tongue on telling me her feelings about my personal affairs. We’ve always had that type of relationship. We always talked to each other until now.

5 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    If your parents are legally separated it's not an "affair", it's just a relationship. But either way, your parents really need to sit down and decide to either give marriage another try or to divorce officially. These things that carry on for years and years cause unnecessary emotional damage to all involved.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Stay away from all of them

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    not much you can do about it

  • 1 month ago

    What are you trying to make HER do? That seems to be the root of it. You want her to go back to your Father and try to please him for the rest of her life? They're separated! They don't get along. They haven't gotten along for years. Your Mom doesn't want to be his wife anymore. She's not a child. I believe that everyone need learn to adapt to the new status' of life. She doesn't want to be your Dad's wife anymore. Try to respect that. 

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  • 1 month ago

    You say a number of times you are close with your family yet most of what you wrote is about not being close to them.

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