Feedback on this poem?


A month near the end yet full of firsts and promises.

A time since passed, when I watched in awe

At a portrait of a woman dancing with fire,

That lit up my city of Manchester.

I, sat at the bar, full of curiosity

Egar to discover who you are

I learn quickly, as is the nature of my vocation

But my understanding of you came slow

Your heart is non like that I have examined

Words have none yet, for a soul of gold

You provide to all, yourself as a charity,

Like a mothering hare, kind, not weak.

My time with you feels long beyond the

Twice we've voyaged around the sun

This journey you've ladened with sincerity,

Allows me the stage to grow my affection

My gratitude to the sculptors of your fine work

Those around you, who've shown you the truth, kindness and power.

You are the fruit of their love, a Corinthians

With your permission, let me share in your growth.

This October, dance again with fire in your portrait, let it glow

The trees will soon sow copper in their leaves to follow.

Please leave some feedback.

Essentially about a red haired girl I met in October.

weve been together 2 years

as October approaches, my world is renewed like the first time we met

2 Answers

  • 4 weeks ago

    As accentual   the glow of words and thoughts cleave to earth.

    As thoughts of heaven touch sky as a honey cone of the last Passover prayed

    In session to the newest of day,

    A kind breeze over a non existing to love more

    In a need to of time -- I sees,

    its victory in half time to love more, none stop Him.

    "As for you,

    go your way till the end.

    You will rest,

    and then at the end of the days you will rise to receive your allotted inheritance."

  • 4 weeks ago

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