John asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 month ago

Hey Yahoo I'm a jerk. A horrible brother, and I want to change but I need help.?

I'm not abusive or anything like that it's just that I tend to really neglect my little sister. I always tell myself that "I'll do better" but never do. And the one reason i can find for that isn't laziness. or anything like that. It's a mixture of me being sort of a introvert + loner and that i tend to enjoy messing with the weak. Not in a cruel way but definitely sadistic. I don't know why that is. My little sister still loves me. and i try to tell her that she should leave me alone, that I'm not a good big brother but she doesn't really listen. I don't know why but something about her either really irritates me or makes me really want to bully her a little.  She does so many thing that make me want to Knock her out with a hard right fist. I can't seem to understand that i HAVE to protect her not just from others but myself, I WANT to become a amazing big brother but i can only seem to be a jerk because just the sight of her makes me want to do... something.... something mean, not like kill or abuse. but more like just make her cry a little. and i hate that HATE HATE HATE HATE IT. I've tried punishing myself everytime I'm mean to her but that just makes me resent her more. I need to be good. i need to be right. i want her to love me for a good reason not just "he's my big brother." and so help me god if anyone touches her i will tear them limb from limb. If that's the case then why can't i stop. i want to s-t-o-p. But the feeling is too powerful. Yahoo? How do I stop it?

Update:

How can i protect my sister from myself? How do i get rid of the feeling she gives me? how do i change when nobody seems to care? I-I-I... I love her. she's the only sister that is nice to me. My oldest younger is a Bigger jerk. the youngest Just seems to want to hurt me. why can't i protect and love the one that is nice to me? what do i have to do to change. what specific actions. How can i start? How do i stay focused. HOW DO I ENGRAVE IT ONTO MY BRAIN?

3 Answers

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    maybe you should get some counseling

  • I’m not gonna flat out come out and tell you to be a Christian or anything, but to me by the way you’re describing these thoughts you have, it sounds like you’re being attacked by demons. They put evil thoughts into our heads and make you think things you don’t want to think. They’re called “intrusive thoughts.” You jumping back and fourth like that is like Satan talking into your ear telling you you want to do horrible things to your sister and Jesus and talking into your other ear telling you not to think like that and you love your sister and would never hurt her. Again, not gonna tell you to do anything, but as a Christian, this is what it sounds like to me and I would try and pray these thoughts away. And rebuke Satan whenever you get these thoughts. Like “Get OUT of here Satan in the name of Jesus Christ! I Rebuke you!” as stern as you can. He hates hearing Jesus’s name spoken and he flees when he hears it. I used to have evil thoughts as a child and used to tell my mom I saw “black things” around me. Freaking terrifying when I think back on it. This is just my theory. You don’t have to take me seriously or anything, just my guess. These kinds of thoughts are not something I’d want to live with or ignore. And lets say someone with these thoughts got saved. The closer they get to God, the less these thoughts will come into their head. Would probably disappear completely if they stayed faithful. Anyway, I’ll pray you ya John! Hope things get better you you! :) 

  • 1 month ago

    ask your parents to help you change

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