Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Am I in the wrong?

My boyfriend and I had sex & it turned out that he came inside of me. He then asked me afterwards if I wanted him to get me a plan b & I said yes & he became mad at the fact that I said yes and told me that he doesn’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want to have his baby. In fear of losing him, I told him that I was just playing. When he dropped me off at home, we were okay/on good terms but as me being 17 almost 18 and him being 20, I just felt we weren’t ready and proceeded to take a plan b without him knowing. I DO want kids with this man, just not now while we’re financially unstable, etc & I’ve let him know this but he thinks if we just work hard, it’ll work out.  I took the plan b 2 days after sex, so there’s a possibility it didn’t work, but I tried. Am I wrong for doing this behind his back? 

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  • 1 month ago

    You are a teenager. Children having children is STUPID. 

    YOUR BOYFRIEND IS AN IDIOT, but you are just as immature as he is, so you are clueless.

    He does not care about you as much as you wish he would. No guy in his right mind would want to ruin the youth of a teenager a d saddle them with a the responsibility of a child. My God, what is WRONG with him...other than wanting to control you.

    What the hell are you having unprotected sex for??? That is an idiot move on both your parts. And, that high school silly thinking about the pull out method is wishful thinking, not real birth control! 

    You clearly need an education about how to not get pregnant..  it is called BIRTH CONTROL.

    Are you even aware that there are 240 MILLIOM sperm in just one ejaculation? There is no fine line and he cannot feel or know when the first few million sperm are released in his fluids. 

    You had better hope and pray that you did not conceive his baby. For crying out loud, YOU have not even grown in all your own teeth!

    Thank God you did take plan b, but plan A is better...pregnancy prevention via birth control. The p,an b pill can mess with your cycle, so be very extra careful from here on out. Condoms if nothing else. 

    In five years. This dude will just be a memory. Really.

  • 1 month ago

    OMG! What's wrong with everyone?!? Yes. There is so much wrong here. Your short paragraph is like one of those pictures where you have to find the hidden items, only there are so many. A minor having sex with someone three years older. That's wrong. It "turned out" he came in you? "Turned out?" That's wrong. Unprotected sex. That's wrong. Lack of trust. That's wrong. Manipulation. That's wrong. Lying. That's wrong. Thinking that "financial stability" is THE reason not to have kids with this man. How about mental stability; moral stability; mutual respect; self-respect; honesty; trust.... It will not just work out. It will be the utter mess you are setting it up to be. Thinking like this, he must be the catch of the century (LOL), or you have come to think way to little of your worth. Please don't torture children with your mess.

  • 1 month ago

    Both of you are wrong.

    He is wrong for thinking that if you will not have this particular baby with him, then you will never have a baby with him and instead have a baby with someone else--- immature

    You are wrong for not keeping an open communication and with him and didn't inform him of your deviation from the plan--- insecure

    If you guys are deciding whether or not to take the Plan B, it tells me that neither of you are ready for the baby (or for sex). If both of you knew that you don't want a baby at this time, then your plan A should have been to use a condom.

    You wrote "he thinks If we just work hard, it’ll work out" Work hard on what? Does that mean each of you take on a second job? If that's what he means, and then he should say that because having a baby requires clear plans for the future. "It'll just work out" is not good enough--- you guys need to have  the availability to take care of the baby and the finances.

  • 1 month ago

    It sounds like he was stealthing. Men (and women) use this tactic as a way of trapping them in the relationship by secretly getting them pregnant. They either take off the protection when you are not looking or put holes in it beforehand. I would not stay with him as if you are not ready to have a child or don't want any, he shouldn't pressure you 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    NOPE you're not in the wrong.

    Regardless of age, sex isn't 'kid's-stuff'.

    Even when it's kids having sex.

    Because making babies isn't kid's-stuff either.

    And whether drinking or having sex, people that are mature enough to do either are also supposed to be mature enough to do either one 'Responsibly'.

    Your BF is being totally immature & a genuine jerk,,

    After all, it's not as if you un-romantically leapt from the bed screaming "eew!" & rushed to the bathroom sink to wash yourself out as if you'd just been injected with flaming acid or something. 

    Witch would be kind-o-gross but even if you did, he's not just immature but he's also something of a Phyco-case for thinking something's wrong with 'you' just for having sex but not wanting to make babies.

    So, as long as your BF insists on being such an irresponsible pinprick about it contraception is up to you and basically none if his business anyway.

    And you might consider taking his attitude as something of a 'Red Flag' since he obviously doesn't care if he irresponsibly to knocks you up whether you want that to happen or not.    

  • Tantra
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    DITCH HIM. He is VERY immature and doesn't understand the repercussions of having a child. It is not all about finances either you must be seriously tough and mature (you'll know it when you are up every 40 minutes because your baby's belly is only the size of a dime for 2 weeks until it grows).

    Reality check. He is NOT a man and he is offering a pressured relationship which is bad for you and your child. Stop it. Then stop him permanently. 

  • 1 month ago

    Just tell him he is an adult and you are a minor and if he got you pregnant your folks could have him sent to jail. You should've done it the next morning, that's what they are for. And tell him if he wants anymore sex with you he had better get some condoms and use them. 

  • 1 month ago

    You were not wrong at all. At 17 you are still a little young to begin a family. He sounds to be a little immature yet. If you're going to stay with him I'd suggest you go on the pill for a couple of years until you're both ready.

  • 1 month ago

    You are absolutely NOT wrong. NEVER let anyone manipulate you into having a baby when you aren't ready. That's one reason there are so many abused kids and unwanted pregnancies. LISTEN TO YOUR HEAD, not your heart or your lust. 

    You're absolutely right to take the Plan B without letting him know. It's YOUR future he wants to control--and you don't have to let him. 

  • 1 month ago

    You're not wrong and it sounds like there's communication issues and that can't be something thats gonna be a constant problem if you guys wanna move forward. But i think you also need to ask yourself how you felt about his reaction and what you really think of it because you sound a little timid. The way that he got mad at your reaction and you just immediately told him you were just playing and then when he wasn't around you were able to do the right thing. That right there just sounds like he's a bad influence on you and i don't think that putting yourself in that position to have a baby so young is a good idea. It's just not because you both have so much life left to live before you settle down. You also seem very mature and level headed you're smart enough to know you want kids one day but not while you're still financially unstable and not while you're as young as you are now. Most people either want everything handed to them or they really have no clue what they want out of life. You sound like you're too good for him also it's a huge red flag the way he tries to make you feel inferior. You're definitely not wrong though for doing that behind his back he's in la la land thinking that things are magically gonna work out but he's gonna get burned out working overtime and working hard for the baby and as you guys get older he might resent you and the baby and hate himself for never thinking ahead and never thinking i should have lived my life before i settled down and had a kid. 

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