Anonymous

He messages me everyday is he a stalker?

I'm 21 and a girl. There's this 30 yo man I've been talking to since January 2019 on a online forum. At the time i started talking to him, my life was in a bad place and he was a real comfort! I felt lonely and isolated irl

However things have changed a lot since then, i sorted my head out and made more new friends irl, my life has been good since late last year and honestly i don't need him anymore, i feel like we've run our course

We still have cybersex but i honestly don't know what else to talk to him about, however i don't have the heart to block him or say leave me alone or something. I simply don't know what else to say to him other than dirty talk

He messages me everyday and i really don't like it! I can go months without logging in the forum but his constant messages make me feel like i have to answer just to please him. He has this compulsion to message me everyday but I'm tired of it, and i worry it's stalker behaviour. Is it? He seems to think he is my boyfriend, calls me baby, tells me he loves me and needs me and is jealous to death of my rl friendship with another girl. He wants to meet me but i have never wanted to meet him. I tried to walk away from him last month but he guilt tripped me into coming back what can i do? It's like I'm the key to his happiness and he won't let me go

Update:

I know it's nasty....but I'm trying to be nice about it! The friendship i have with this other girl is a real one and has made me realise i have moved on from him

Update 2:

In the past he has been really pushy and is also really arrogant most of the time, many times I've seen sides to him i don't like. There was once when he knew how upset i was and wanting a break from my screen, but he still expected me to drop everything for him. He was really rude to me when i told him i wasn't in a talking mood, i didn't appreciate it at all. He doesn't seem to respect me

20 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    in a polite fashion tell him how you feel. Good luck.

  • Aaron
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    I think that if you are not interested in him ,you can come clean with him  ,and make a clean break from him ,I think that you should make it clear to him in a way that is not harsh or cutting for example ,you say he is a great person who is not right for you ,but who can find someone great ,don't put it off ,do it in a instant ,

  • 1 month ago

    Ghost him. Don't let him pressure you. Quit talking to him altogether PERIOD!. You are not obligated to him, nor owe him any explanation for you not wanting to talk to him. 

  • 1 month ago

    He doesn’t respect you, he makes you uncomfortable, he’s pushy... what’s stopping you from blocking him? 

    It could be that you like this attention of someone chasing you... or it could be that you’re being manipulated, or both. 

    You need to block him before this gets worse. Does he know where you live? I sincerely hope not

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  • 1 month ago

    not really he is just perfectly normanlly as along as its nor Slender Man that you are OK 

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    So he's 30 and chasing after a girl nearly 10 years younger. There's a reason he can't find anyone his own age, they probably won't put up with him! He must be so flattered a much younger woman has been giving him attention, but you must make it very clear this relationship is online only and you will never in a million years be his girlfriend. Set him firm, but fair boundaries, including not messaging you every day. Just be honest, there's nothing wrong with speaking from your heart. Tell him you feel uncomfortable. I too would be annoyed with someone expecting a reply all the time. He sounds very needy! He definitely doesn't love you, from what you said he actually seems obsessed with you, there's a difference. This is not healthy. Jealousy over your new friendship really? He's not just a clingy stalker, he is ******* dangerous. You need to back out of this thing once and for all before you fall in too deep. He is so manipulative, he knows how to push your buttons and he has been feeding you lies for so long i think you should start feeding him some back. Tell him you're seeing someone new and you're gonna see how it goes. Then never ever come back. If he doesn't move on that's not your problem. If i ever met him i would tell him he needs to get out more and go get counselling. Because this is no life he is living. He doesn't even have a life, his whole life is you. It's not normal. His behaviour needs to be stopped because he's just plain creepy. Get rid of him! I don't care how, just do it! And never ever meet him. Who knows what he could do to you.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    everyday? why? wtf...!

    if he has been messaging you every single day from the start then you must have the patience of a saint for putting up with it cos i sure couldn't! i'd have reached my tipping point ages ago now!

    it really worries me that you say he says he needs you. he has no idea about life at all, if he did he would know that no one needs anyone, even if it seems like they do. i have heaps of friends but when bad things happen to me i fall off the face of the earth and they don't hear from me for a while. so i obviously don't need anyone. so long as you haven't given him any private details about you you shouldn't really be worried about this, just tell him the truth that you feel you've run your course. it's not nasty it's just what's happened but if he throws a wobbler so be it

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Yes, that is definitely stalker behaviour. It is not at all normal to message the same person everyday. It may be because he is clearly incredibly selfish, but he doesn't seem to understand personal privacy, and just invades your space constantly. Tell him in the politest possible way to back off. He sounds very worrying! Why does he "need" you?!

    And being jealous of your real life friendship is pathetic. Does his whole life revolve around you? It really shouldn't!What if one day you don't come online to talk to him, what will he do then? And btw, his words are absolute bs. He does not love you so don't ever believe he does. You are a stranger, he doesn't even know you, only what you write. Tell your friend about him if you feel guilty letting him go, she can deal with him. She could save you from a lifetime of harassment.

  • 1 month ago

    He's not a stalker but not in a "good place", maybe not in the same way as you were but when you think about it developing an online relationship with someone you haven't met can't be healthy. You obviously got your head straight and realised this is not what you want. Plain and simple he is still there you have moved on, you need to tell him you are no longer interested in continuing whatever that is, let him know your goals in life have changed and you no longer want to receive these types of messages, it was fun in the beginning but it's getting creepy. Like unless you want to meet him say this, if you want to meet him tell him you'd like to meet for coffee but this "virtual relationship" is not what you want. This way he knows why and you are free, if he's sad about it that's too bad, like irl if you aren't happy with a relationship you need to end it for your sanity, it may hurt but he'll be OK. But yeah, he's not a stalker that I know of, just an odd one it seems. You're a nice girl by the sounds of it but there's a time and place for nice and here isn't it. 

  • Tavy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Come off the site, delete it and lead a normal life meeting real people. He could be a dirty old man in his 60s married. Not thought of that?

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