Friends relationships ?

Am I being unreasonable please advise me

My dad is in a nursing home  and I struggle not seeing him due to the virus. 

My Husband has Cancer 

and my son has been going through challenging times and need my support. 

I have two friends  who both telephone me every day and off load with various things going on in their lives every time we talk 90 percent of the conversation is about them and they barely ask about me. They are aware of my situation 

Why are they like this? 

I really do need time out however I don't want to offend them. 

How would you manage this situation? 

Other then just switch my phone off 

6 Answers

Relevance
  • Amber
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    I had two friends like this in High School. It was all about them, all day every day. This meaningless, petty "problems".

    My Dad died suddenly of a heart attack

    My mum was committed because she had Bipolar and his death sent her over the edge. 

    I had to live for a while with my aunt who I barely knew in a city I didn't know. They wanted to ring me every night and moan about how mean their parents were for not telling them do something, slag each other off then go.

    I realized I didn't need friends like that. They weren't my friends, to them I was just an ear to complain to. So I stopped answering my phone to them. Eventually one of them sent me a text about me not answering so I called her and told her way. My life had fallen apart. Nothing had happened to her. Why wasn't she supporting me? I basically told her to leave me alone. Why bother with friends like that?

  • ?
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    When they call, tell them that you only have five minutes, then before they get a chance to offload their problems, tell them about yours. After about five, say, "thank you so much for listening, I must go because..." you father or son is calling, for example - and cut the call. Have your excuses for cutting the call ready  - write it on a piece of paper, perhaps.

    Good Luck!

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 months ago

    You probably need to tell these people your plate is full right now. You can always say you feel for them. But just keep reinforcing that you've got problems of your own. 

  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Turn the phone of, if they say anything, tell them you are too busy dealing with your problems. Cut them off when they start. Ring your door bell, and say sorry have to go then disconnect the call.

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Your friends are being very selfish. I am assuming they know what is going on with you and they are not even allowing you the time to share and talk about it. And even if they don't know, conversations should not just be one person talking all time, both people should have the time to talk. Just tell them that you are going through a lot right now and really need time to yourself for a while. You need to only focus on your family. And if they come back saying something like "well we're here for you" then it wouldn't hurt to mention that you would like to be able to talk about your situation sometimes instead of just theirs. However, if you don't want confrontation at this point then don't. 

  • 4 months ago

    i just wouldnt answer the phone

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.