I've been dating my colleague and we both love each other. Should I Continue my marriage to be with my children or take a divorce?

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  • 4 months ago

    You decided (jointly) to bring children into your family and into this life, so you have responsibility to do what is in the best interests of those children. We cannot tell you what that is; you need to work it out with your conscience and your wife. If you leave your home, you are leaving your children, and no matter what you say to them, they will feel that you have abandoned them - which is what it will be, of course. 

    Mixing business with pleasure in the way that you are almost always leads to disaster. You "love" each other, but you loved your wife in the same way once. How long will this "love" last? Then what? Another woman? By which time you may have had more children with this colleague you mention. Stop kidding yourself! Really!! Are you fourteen?!

    We fall madly in love, don’t we, thinking (feeling rather) that it will last forever and is enough for a serious relationship. However, it’s very hard to live on an emotional high for very long. Eventually we start to come down from the ecstasy, excitement, strong passions and desires, typically after around 18 months to three years (people vary of course). If couples are friends, discuss their mutual values, shared ambitions, interests, etc., in some depth (obviously there will be some differences, which help make relationships interesting), and make plans, work on their personal development, etc., this can develop into a long and wonderful relationship. If one party feels insecure or low in self respect, it can make for a difficult partnership. It's easy to behave at our best when in love, but marriage, for example, requires a lot of self discipline, sacrifice, compromise and flexibility. If a strong friendship is not in place, the relationship will probably peter out eventually - or worse. Quite often we fall in love because we are lonely and allow ourselves to be won over by anyone who takes an interest in us. Thus we give away control to somebody else if we are not careful. This is another reason for taking things very slowly, and really getting to know someone before committing ourselves or getting too emotionally or sexually involved. Sex can be emotionally bonding, which is disastrous if the other things are not there: strong friendship, similar values and standards, common interests, etc. 

     

    Good Luck! (Especially to your wife and child!)

  • car253
    Lv 7
    5 months ago

    Well, you got 2 great answers here.   Is this affair more important than your own kids ??   Really?      If you divorce you know you will totally screw up your kids.   I have seen it a million times.    Your kids will hate you.    You will only see them on the weekend if that.     You will tear your family apart.     Get out the affair now.

    Your kids are more important than this affair.    It is EXTREMELY sad if you cannot see that OR if you simply do not care about your kids. 

    Shame on her for dating a married man if she knows.   Shame on you for dating while married with children.   Shame on you for not putting your kids first !!

  • 5 months ago

    It’s just sex. You just fell in love with the sex. Kinda like when you first met your wife. When you get with the new women, she will become just like your wife to you after a while. 

    So I would say please Get control of yourself and mind. Sex is not worth the damage you will do to your family. It was fun, but don’t it ruin what you have long term for your wife. It’s just sex. Don’t loose what you have built. And the kids will loose respect and honor for you. That’s not what you want. You are just bored with your wife. But you don’t wanna mess it up forever. 

    U need to just refocus. Continue the marriage. Appreciate your wife. Be thankful you got some office booty to clear your mind, but get back to your family and stop playing. She’s just for fun. Not longterm. 

  • 5 months ago

    You shall care to have final conclusion bc the divorce will greatly bad affect you,  kids and your current husband life.

    But, if your current husband gives you too much bad feelings, then you have no choices.

    Otherwise, the new love will also be cool down and be bored also.

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  • 5 months ago

    Wait what? You’re married and you’re dating some other person? You have kids? What the Frack are you doing?

    A marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman to start a family and raise children.

    If you were to tell the world, just like you did, that this is what you’re doing and they didn’t know exactly who you were and you did it anonymously, like you’re doing it, what would your friends and family have to say about this person?

    Life is not about love. It’s about continuing the species. If your children are 18 years of age and older, then do what you want. You have raised them to be adults. Hopefully not stupid adults like you.

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