Sometimes my husband makes me feel not good enough. ?
So me and my husband have been married for 4 years now. I’m 26 he’s 27, we stereotypically got married right after college & settled down the whole ordeal. Classic southern marriage of a sorority girl and baseball Boy but although our life looks picture perfect, my husband tends to be inconsiderate with the things he say’s sometimes and they really hurt my feelings inside.
For example the other day I know he was meaning it in a semi funny way but he said “damn babe you’re lookin thicker than a bowl of oatmeal you needa start hitting the gym” and like he says things like that a lot about my looks and I honestly get kind of offended because I can’t tell if he’s kidding. He’s also insensitive when it comes to him talking about other woman and “how hot they are” in front of me while we’re with friends. Although he apologizes almost immediately I can’t tell if what he’s saying has truth to it. Makes me feel awful and most of the time I laugh it off not to cry. ): Any advice?
- Barb OuthereLv 71 month ago
Yeah, work om your self esteem. You are taking his attitude to heart because somewhere inside you, you think he is right.
- kristyLv 71 month ago
Yes I have advice. Get rid of him
- 1 month ago
You need to tell him he is hurting your feelings and disrespecting you. Tell him seriously. I hate to say this, but if someone is making you feel like you aren't good enough for him, that's probably how he feels. You both deserve better. You to be god enough to our own husband and he someone he will consider good enough not to disrespect and hurt with his insensitive crap.
- MissALv 71 month ago
Stop laughing it off.
Tell him "It is incredibly offensive and hurtful when you say these things to me. It's not funny. Stop doing it or we're going to have problems."
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- 1 month ago
Lack of respect, that's all.
- seedy historyLv 71 month ago
Young men notice young women whether they are married or not. If they're smart, they don't SAY SO but please expect it to be true because..well.. it's just true! It's just true. It's not a judgement on you that he notices other females exist. Not a judgement on you. Are you getting thicker than oatmeal? I packed on some pounds once I hit 50 but kept my weight down under 125 lbs until then. Just so much easier to get around when not hauling extra weight. If you two are contemplating having children it's important to your health that you don't put on too much weight before concieving and then packing on even more. Just be healthy. Be active. Be happy.... and try very hard to not place your confidence and your image and your self love on his shoulders or his responsibility. If he's being a jerk to you then tell him exactly that. And don't hide your light! Keep glowing and growing and blooming because that is what YOU do regardless of the choices he's making. He's not your authority figure, he's your partner.
- Coach SimonLv 71 month ago
While I appreciate that this is a serious question concerning an issue that is rightly important to you, we older types often wish we had not taken everything and everyone (including ourselves) QUITE so very seriously during our short teen & twenties years. You are both still very young. Many women are not too “mature” until late 20s, and a lot of men don’t even start to grow up until their mid thirties (I was one!). Actually Judge Judy said recently their forties! Not all, of course.
So enjoy your relationship and your relative youth while you can - no doubt there will be children, responsibilities, etc. at some point, but I would hang fire on such things until you have learned more about your adult selves.
Reading books like Dr Phil McGraw's excellent Relationship Rescue helps to give us deeper insights into how relationships work. (I wish I got commission, as I recommend it to so many people!). As he writes in the book, it isn't only for people whose relationships are in trouble. There are other excellent books, of course.
- MikeLv 51 month ago
This will teach you that getting married young isn't a great idea. Take your time when trying to find your 2nd husband.
- Anonymous1 month ago
don’t settle for a man with a potato brain. get out while you’re still young
- LiliLv 71 month ago
Tell him that you find his comments hurtful and that you want him to see a couples counselor with you so you two can communicate more appropriately and respectfully.
If he won't go, see a therapist by yourself and figure out why you are sticking with this immature jerk. Sounds like he never got past the jock/frat boy stage. I suspect you can do better.