Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Why do women expect their husbands to do everything, and also make tons of time for their children ?

They expect their husbands to work 9-5, then commute home, then also make time for the gym because they want their husband to look like Superman with ripped abs all the time, and then they also expect him to also make time for family and play with the the kids after the gym and help them with homework and also make time for sexy time at night with her and also how dare he force his wife to cook dinner for him because she’s a “proud” “independent women” who don’t need no man, who shouldn’t have to cook dinner for the family because that’s oppressive and sexist, so he has to cook dinner too

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    No one expects one guy to do all that! If they are, that's rude and unrealistic. Yes, we know guys typically have the harder workload. Most families split cooking dinner and taking out the trash. That's healthy, especially if you give the kids chores and divide the workload. Yes, everyone would like their dad/husband to be physically fit and healthy, but we all understand that they're tired and don't have the time. That's okay. With family, if they plan to have kids both have to be there for them. I'm a teen with 2 younger brothers. My dad doesn't parent, doesn't help with homework, doesn't bother to spend time with us. I understand he's tired but a woman should expect her husband, if they plan to have a family, to value them and be there for the kids. Not for the dad to not do anything and let the woman do it all. Believe me, the woman doesn't mind doing it when needed, but as soon as the second parent comes home, they need time off. Which means the man in this relationship needs to switch from worker to dad. All women expect is a guy who can switch between work and family without grumbling. That's all anyone really needs.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you've found yourself married to someone like this it's because you didn't properly vet this person before marrying them. This world is full of women who also work 9-5, also hit the gym to stay fit and are willing to share the household and childrearing chores. You should have married one of them. 

  • 1 month ago

    He can bring home dinner twice a week. If she works then she can bring home dinner too. If she stays at home with the kids, she need wrestle up dinner three worknights a week. Husbands are expected to bond and teach and play with their children because they are their father.  

  • 1 month ago

    Which women? I'd venture this is a make believe situation because it doesn't reflect ANY marriage that I've ever encountered. It's definitely not how mine works.

    In my house, there are two people and a few animals. Both people work. Both people cook. Both people clean. Both people make sure the animals are taken care of and that our calendar is managed to make time for friends/family. Both people take care of their bodies, which includes exercise, healthy-ish eating, and making/keeping regular doctor appointments.

    Why is that the case? Because we're both grown adults who understand the responsibilities of taking care of ourselves, our home, our animals, and each other. Gender doesn't enter into it. If you make a mess, you clean it up. If the trash needs to be taken out, you take it out. And, sometimes, if your partner can't take care of something that they normally would (because they're sick, out of town, taking care of something else, or just plain stressed out), you take that thing off their plate. Because you're a good partner.

    If any of that sounds oppressive, sexist, or upsetting to you, I'd invite you to examine why it is that you feel that way. We're two people who are committed to having a clean house, full bellies, and a bank account to provide the life we want to have. That's what the vast majority of healthy, happy marriages look like. There are times when one person does more/less of a particular activity. There are relationships where one person takes responsibility for a specific task because that's THEIR thing (they actually want to cook, mow the lawn, or do the laundry). But healthy couples figure that stuff out and don't leave their partner feeling like they're stuck holding the bag all the time.

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  • 1 month ago

    What, like it's hard?

    Seriously, meeting expectations isn't difficult if you have half a brain.

  • .
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Which women do that? No one I know. Most couples I know, and to include myself when I was married, BOTH worked full time jobs (at times my ex and I both worked a full time job and a part time job). A number of the couples I know both are physically active (gym, running, or some sport). 

    .

    Basically your post is referring to a minority of women, and as for why they expect that of their husbands...you'd have to ask them. What you describe isn't even close to reality for the vast amount of couples in the US, and probably not anywhere else in the world either. 

  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What women are you referring to? If that’s your life experience, then your question should be “why is my wife like this”, but that certainly doesn’t apply to women as an entire gender. The vast majority of women I know work full time jobs, often as many hours as their husbands, sometimes more, and make as much or more money. The vast majority of men I know don’t look like Superman, nor do their wives expect it.  Many of the couples I know work out together. Yes, it is totally reasonable to expect a parent to spend time with their children, or to help with homework, regardless of which parent it is. Any husband who thinks he can force his wife to do anything is not a real man or a partner. 

    You sound like you are not married and are an incel.

  • Linda
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I don't know who you're referring to but my husband works full time and I cook dinner and most women cook the meals unless the guy chooses to grill or cook dinner himself. Every relationship is different and women as a rule are pretty understanding and compassionate and don't expect all that from their man and instead want a healthy balance. Your question is unrealistic and "out there."

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Most jobs are actually 8-5 these days. But other than that, the majority of men do not make enough to actually support a household on their own so around 70% of moms work too. However, daycare for two is almost not worth it if you make less than $40k/year so sometimes it makes sense for the lower earner to stay home. Good for you if you are one of the 20% of Americans that make enough to support your family and doing so only working 35 hours a week. If your wife does not work outside the home and you fully financially support your family, then she does all the cooking. While being a SAHM is maybe not as difficult as some other jobs, it is still work. And it's work you expect her to do 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Everyone deserves some time to themselves. Why have children if you want nothing to do with them? If you don't spend time with them (and joyfully so) then what happens is they grow up, you get divorced, your wife gets half and your kids stop talking to you because they have no relationship with you at all. And you sit there on your deathbed wondering why you're alone. Raising kids is a tough job. Give your wife a break for a few hours on the weekends. But if she doesn't work outside the house then her job is taking care of the house and that includes cooking and cleaning. If she doesn't like that, then she can go back to work and hire a nanny and a cook and a maid to replace her. Those 3 things will cost you much more though. We do things for people that we love because we love them and not just ourselves.

  • 1 month ago

    The way I see it is I think both husband and wife should be equal and work as a team, not one doing everything and the other not. And I know I read in the bible that the man should have the final say and be the head of the household, but I'm not sure I agree with that either, I think the decisions should be made equally and I don't agree that the woman should just stay quiet and only let their husbands make decisions, I know a lot of woman pastors and I think both should speak and preach. 

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