Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

My boyfriend has an order of protection against his ex wife. Should I continue to date him?

They had a nasty split but he claims he just slapped her after she provoked him. She grabbed him first. What should I do we have a great thing going

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  • MissA
    Lv 7
    1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Yeah, if I used to beat my wife and now my new girlfriend has found out about it that's probably what I'd tell her too. 

    While it's not impossible he's telling the truth it is a major red flag... and the fact that  he said "he slapped her after she  provoked him" vs "he slapped her in self defense to keep her from physically attacking him" is worse.  Because if you think that in the course of *any* human relationship you will never do a single thing to piss the other party off or make them angry you're deluding yourself.

  • 1 month ago

    You only have his side. Just be very careful and if he shows ANY signs of violence towards you RUN! Leave him and any thoughts of a relationship with him far behind you. 

  • .
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    How long have you and he been together? Maybe he did "just slap" her after she "provoked" him, but how much or how little provocation did it take, and how much of a slap was it? Was she the aggressor or did she grab him because she expected him to try to strike her? Too much we don't know and you may not know.

    .

    If you and he are doing great, date a long, long time, so that when the 'new' wears off your relationship you'll have a better chance of seeing what's below the 'best behavior' that most people are on when they are in new/fresh relationships. You need to know how easily he is angered and how his anger manifests, typically. 

    .

    The Order of Protection could be a huge red flag, or overkill. 

  • 1 month ago

    If he slapped her...why doesn't SHE have an order of protection against him? ! I think his story is a red flag warning. He HIT her. He denies responsibility for his action. You already have your doubts about him. If you still wish to date and see how he turns out, be forewarned, go slowly, and be watchful. This could be the tip of the ice berg.

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  • d j
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Now he's given you a reason to be on your guard. Don't go too fast with him. You've been warned.

  • 1 month ago

    Take it very slowly. The fact he disavows ANY responsibility for what happened suggests that you've not got a straight story. So take it very slow. And keep in mind that the courts deemed him a danger to his wife. 

  • 1 month ago

    Anyone can take out a protection order.  It doesn't require evidence or proof.  Often it is a tool used for the purpose of "getting back" at someone.  All it does is set down a list of things that he is NOT to do.  It is premature and wrong to base your judgments on that.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Nope. What if he ends up slapping you too when you get into an argument. It sounds like he is making excuses for why he slapped his wife so it seems like he does not see it as bad behaviour.  You know his true colours so get out while you can. 

  • 1 month ago

    Well you see the real problem here is your choice. You have chosen a complicated situation to get involved in. 

    Let's just say I meet a beautiful, smart, sexy woman who happens to be in the middle of a nasty split with her husband, and during this, there was a physical altercation. That's a red flag.

    That's drama. Neither are needed. I would never have become involved with her.

    Make better choices and your life will be easier.

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