Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

Should I just stop replying? Did I do the right thing?

This guy who I've never met has been messaging me for a year. I found his conversation boring sometimes but I wanted to keep communication channels open in case.

He has been through a lot with his mums cancer and his ex wife so I also was giving him time and keeping my options open because we didn't establish some sort of relationship.

He stopped replying last week and I thought maybe it was because I was not putting my best foot forward. His mums birthday was yesterday and I sent him a message wishing her a good birthday. He thanked me and was nice about it. I asked him if he did anything special for her and he said no because she's ill its risky to take her out.

I didn't know what to reply because I didn't want to be the one keeping the conversation going in the case he is just being polite and moved on or isn't interested. And then I also thought that I did find him boring before and I was just trying to have hope if we meet in person when we ready sometime he will be better than expected. I heard of him from family members and he seems like a stable guy so I was keeping it open.

But i didn't respond because I thought its to much effort if it's one sided. It was fine if I sent the text but now anymore will be imposing if he isn't interested.

And if i don't reply and in the case he is still interested he will text me sometime. Otherwise I should let it go and give him space and keep my dignity in tact and also show him I'm not dying for him and was just friendly.

Update:

thank you to the anonymous answerer.

Should i feel bad if he has chosen someone else over me etc, I have that feeling. And feel like i wasn't good enough then

1 Answer

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You could reply back to him as a friend and say something along the lines of 'yeah I'm sorry she can't enjoy her special day as much as she should - I hope she gets everything she wishes for!'

    If you are not that interested in him now and you are keeping him as a option then that clearly tells you your just settling and trust me 'just settling' will not keep you happy. Your looking for something else and he isn't the person you are seeking. If he isn't pursing a conversation its maybe because he doesn't want to chase someone who isn't entertaining his conversation or he Is just not interested. 

    Also sounds like he is going through a lot at the minute so your probably the last thing he is thinking of right now (in the nicest way possible)

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