Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

How to get parents to see their son deserve privacy?

He starts High school next week. He is practically an adult. Yet they refuse to give him the key to his room. And his parents still feels the need to check his phone. It is super unfair, he is not a child anyomore, what if he wants to bring a girl over and have some alonetime?

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    A teenager who is just starting high school next week is NOT practically an adult and he IS still a kid. A teenager enters high school (9th grade, or Freshman year) when he is 14 years old . He won't be a "full" adult with all the rights and responsibilities of an adult until he's 21 years old. He won't be "legal" adult until he's 18 years old.

    You'll save yourself a lot of grief, if you understand one thing: The house and everything in it belong to your parents - YOU legally own NOTHING! Your parents are only allowing you to "use" certain things in THEIR house. A teenager who is living in his parents' home is legally entitled to almost no privacy.

    Your parents can check "your" phone anytime they want to. They bought the phone and they pay the monthly service charges. They own it, and it's their phone. They can throw the phone in the trash, if they want to.

    Your parents don't have to give you a key to "your" room if they don't want to. It's THEIR room. Your parents can take the door to "your" room off the hinges if they want to. It's THEIR door to THEIR room.

    "What if he wants to bring a girl over and have some alone time"? Too bad  for him - he can't do that; not without his parents' prior permission. His parents decide who comes into THEIR house, and when they come in.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If you want it you will have to act like you deserve it.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    While I agree that the child should be allowed privacy (within reason), he’s NOT “practically an adult” at 14. He can’t even drive or get a job yet, and there’s no reason why a 14 year old should be having sex. A 14 year old can’t legally consent to sex where I live, not even with people his own age, so that shouldn’t be an issue to start with.

  • edward
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Alone time means sex right?  High school for me was with the same kids i went to kindergarten with and a few kids who recently moved or who’s families got married into the higher tax bracket.  None of them were strangers to me.  So...my parents knew everyone, i just dated a girl they know.  They left us alone all the time.  I didn’t have a cell phone either so...my computer is what they liked to check

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  • 1 month ago

    No wonder your parents don't trust you.  If you were my kid you wouldn't have a cell phone or a door on your room.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    First of all, it's obvious to me that you're talking about yourself. And second, your parents are correct in what they are doing, because it's equally obvious that they DON'T TRUST YOU. And there's no reason why they should, not at your age, because most boys your age are notoriously IRRESPONSIBLE. The mere fact that they still go through your phone tells me that they don't trust you to be responsible enough to stay away from things like adult chat rooms and porn sites, and not to converse with people you don't know. And NO, you are NOT an adult yet- not by a long shot. All the hormones pumping through your system may be making you THINK that way, but that doesn't change REALITY.

    I HIGHLY DOUBT that your parents are going to tolerate you having a girl in your room for any length of time. YOU ARE NOT OLD ENOUGH to be able to give consent for sex, and your parents obviously have no interest in seeing you become a father at 14 or 15 years old. They are trying to protect you from yourself in this instance. As long as you live in their house, you need to abide by THEIR RULES, NOT YOUR OWN. When you're 18 and a legal adult, then you can decide where and with whom you wish to live.

    One other thing: your parents are smart not to give you the key to your room.I would do the same, in their shoes.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Not going to happen.  Think outside of the box and invest in a tent.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Key to your room, really?  Not happening.  Most parents do NOT give their child a lock or a key to their rooms. You are a minor living in a house your parents pay for so you have no choice but to follow their house rules.  They should obviously give you appropriate privacy, but you expecting your parents to give you full control to get busy with a gf in their house is ridiculous on your part.  You ARE still a child, you are just starting HS and not fully grown.  When you are 18 (adult) you can choose to move out.  Till then stop whining, its not at all mature.

  • 1 month ago

    With few exceptions, all parents do what they think is best for their children.  I will not say that these parents are wrong.

    What the son can do is take small steps to prove responsibility.  If there's nothing objectionable on his phone, the parents may taper off on (but probably not stop) checking it.  If he brings a girl over and both of them behave well with the door open, his parents may not check on them as much.

    As far as the son's having a personal, lockable space, that will probably have to wait until he's an adult.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Their house their rules 😉

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