Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 2 months ago

How mad at the other person would you be in this situation?

I am a gullible fool, I know, and I am angry at myself above all.  But how mad would you be at the other person?

You loaned the other person, who was a long-time friend from church, and a company that the other person owned over $300,000.

The borrowers defaulted on the debt.  They lied to you when they repeatedly promised to pay you back, and they hid some bad financial information when they borrowed the money.  But you felt sorry for the borrower and you said that you’d consider reducing the interest rate, to be helpful.

When you started pushing for repayment, the other person told you that he’d fight you in court to avoid repayment.  

Only after you hired a mediator did you get most of the money back, but the other person refused to pay every cent borrowed.

During the mediation, the other person lied and settlement talks broke down.  Then the other person didn’t even pay the other person’s share of the mediator’s fees.  And the other person threatened again to sue you.

Now you’re about to finally settle and be repaid the principal.

How angry would you be at the other person?


The loan was very carefully documented with very thorough documents prepared by lawyers, and very heavily negotiated.  That was my salvation in this case.

9 Answers

  • 2 months ago

    Anger is a waste of time.

    I'd feel sadness and confusion about why the other person acted this way, then turn that person over to God.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I have loaned money (several times) within the family and have never had it back but, after waiting for it for some time, decided on a different solution.  I gave the same amount to my other offspring (telling them why I was doing it) and then letting the one who had borrowed initially know what I had done. They are all now equal and all of them know that there will be virtually nothing for them to inherit when I die except the house.  I have enough to just live on until then and what is left is what they'll share. No-one gets it twice over at the expense of others.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

     You NEVER loan any money w/o counting it lost fghjkpqrz

     . . . . . . . . . .

     , , , , , , , , , ,

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    The behaviour was wrong but  anger made it no better but added to your woes.

    To be fair, the whole transaction sounds strictly commercial....not a deal between friends.   Learn from it.   That was an awful loy of money; about 500 years income for someone in the developuing world

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I would NEVER speak to him again.

  • 2 months ago

    Someone from church is the scamming type? You don't say.

  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I'd never want to see the other person again, after realizing he is nothing but a liar and a cheat.  You initially felt sorry for him, but then he took the money and basically tried to run, and decided never to pay you back. 300K is a lot of money, and I wonder if he needed it so badly, why didn't he just close his business, or just file bankruptcy?  Sounds like by asking you for the loan since you were a friend, he didn't have to disclose info like he normally would if he had gone through a bank.  So yeah, I would hope that now that he's threatened to sue you, that he ends up penniless and on the street.

  • 2 months ago

    Old adage: NEVER lend a friend money -- at the end, you'll lose the money and the friend.

    If you ever lend anyone money, the trick is to ensure that you establish your legal rights to the money and interest. That's a contract, and contracts are best in writing, with every clause/point signed as understood by both parties, usually in the presence of at least one third party. Especially when talking about largish sums of money, like $300,000.

    That way, there's no need to get angry with the other person.

  • 2 months ago

    I'm not the type of person that would get "angry", I'm the type that would have immediately brought it to the courts. Sue for the amount borrowed in total + court costs and that would have been the end of it. They already lied, why drag it out so they can lie some more? Such a waste of time. Business is business and in business, theres no room to act like a door mat. After the situation is settled, the communication would be done too.

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