Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 4 weeks ago

Should I tell him?

So I've had two miscarriages, one at the age of 8 (yes that's a whole other tramatic story but I started my period at 7 so it was only a matter of time since I was being abused) and the other with my fiance. We both got very excited and it broke both of us when we lost the pregnancy at 2 months. So now I'm pretty sure I'm 6 weeks pregnant and don't know how long I should wait before I tell him. I don't want to hurt him again also we were not trying for this baby because we were still grieving. I am taking all the vitamins, eating right, the whole thing to make sure the baby will be as healthy as possible. We don't live together because of covid postponing our plans, so I could keep it under wraps until I start to show. So when should I tell him?

3 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Start by seeing your Ob/gyn to confirm your pregnancy and determine how far along you are.  

    As for telling your fiancé, I'd suggest you tell him as soon as you know for sure.  If you were to miscarry again, you would want his love and support rather than having to hide it from him, right?  If you two are going to be parents and spouses, you need to learn how to be honest and open, and to work together during difficult times.  

  • LizB
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    If you want you could wait until you have a dating ultrasound, since at that point they'll be able to see a heartbeat if it's viable (usually visible sometime between weeks 6 and 7). Although a detectable heartbeat isn't a guarantee that everything is okay, but chance of miscarriage at that point drops to less than 5%.

    If it does happen again, then when you and your partner are ready to TTC again you should consider working with a fertility specialist. Although one miscarriage is usually an anomaly, more than one in a row can indicate that something is amiss, which fertility treatments may be able to help overcome. Also with RPL you don't need to "try" for an entire year before seeing someone. Anyone with known fertility issues (like a history of RPL) can start working with a fertility specialist as soon as they're ready to.

  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    If he is very sensitive and this would upset him, wait a few weeks till you are more secure to tell him.  You could also surprise him by taking him to your first sonogram...that's a great way for a new Dad to be to find out.  Nothing more exciting then when you hear that first heartbeat to tell you everythings okay.  Good luck!

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