Anonymous

Is it normal to really hate my future MIL?

I feel disgust and hatred for that lady. It's so hard to try to be cordial to someone that not only treated you like dirt but plotted against your relationship.

She went as far as inventing lies (lying to her own son but he caught the lie) about me cheating on him. That's the tip of the iceberg off course. She once insulted my parents. At this point she's one of the most detestable, fake, manipulative, selfish people I've ever met. Then she tried to make peace but even that's fake too. Every single ''sorry'' coming out of her mouth was pure waste of oxygen. She gossips about me behind my back, even right after that insincere reconciliation.

I think it's only nature to loathe someone that was horrible to you and continues being fake. Is my feeling of HATE towards her normal?

12 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    When we got married, neither set of parents approved. We were both 25 yrs old, same race, same religion, both had masters degrees, both had good jobs. Most parents would have been delighted. My parents have not spoken to us since the wedding, 45YEARS AGO. Her parents yelled at us and fought at us till the day they died. Her mother was just evil, wicked mean, bad, and nasty.  Our siblings approved and are a part of our lives. We were just united together against their disapproval. If her parents were over to our house and started in on us, we told them to leave. At their house, we just got up and left, one time during Thanksgiving Dinner. The solution was to be united in our stand. We have been very happy together, still love each other very much. And she still makes me laugh. If we had it to do all over again, we would do it all over again.

    If you can be united together then you can make it work. If not, then leave him now.

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Unless your fiance' is willing to move far far away from his parents (as in another state or country), you probably would save your sanity by ending the relationship.  You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your in-laws.

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    There's often some conflict with in-laws. But if you wish to continue on with this relationship and make her your MIL you're going to have to put the bitterness away. When you decide to join someone else's family you're stuck with them whether you like them or not. 

  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Normal?   Not really.

    Foolish, certainly.  You have to deal with her for the rest of your life, so it makes sense to learn to get on with her.

    Apart from other considerations, to do otherwise would put a strain on your marriage 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Why are you marrying into this family. This women you hate will be a close part of your life for the rest of your life.

  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I found out that the lying, manipulating, insulting, detestable, selfish, fake woman raised the man I married.  We're divorced now.  The apple never falls far from the tree.  Think it's bad now?  Wait until you have a child and the mil is part of the picture.

    My second husband is a man who has a set of functioning b*lls.  His parents were dismissive of my parents exactly ONCE.  He told his parents to play nice or go away.  I have not had another problem.

  • 1 month ago

    Yes it is and she has mental issues, pray for her and forgive

  • 1 month ago

    I think it's natural to detest someone who lied to break you up with your husband. You have no reason to trust her if she tried it once she will try it again.

  • 1 month ago

    She's controlling your emotions as you typed this, and you didn't even realize it.  Let go of all this, and stop allowing her to control you emotionally.  It's just not healthy.  

  • Helen
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Given her behaviour, your feelings are understandable. However, hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It only hurts you.

    You are marrying into that family - she will always be in the picture.

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