Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

Sex issue with my husband and me and a friend-NEED ADVICE ?

I really need some helpful advice over my big dilemma. For a bit of a backstory. My husband and I have been together for 15 years married for 5. Over the years we have gained weight. Me more so.

Within this last year. Struggled having normal sex. To the point where we mainly do foreplay and he finishes himself. Handjobs and blowjobs do nothing for him. But he is a very devoted husband and tends to all my needs regardless. I'm grateful for that. Although the lack of actual sex has been a toll on both of us. Now just last night we had a 4th of July party and met with a friend of a friend. Found out she had terrible news with her boyfriend who cheated on her and never really was intimate with her at all for a whole year. She's tried getting off with toys and everything she could. But has struggled. She ended up hinting that maybe my husband could help her out. My husband told me and asked what I thought. After expressing my insecurities and understanding of both parties. I eventually gave my permission. It hasn't happened yet. But I'm still conflicted. Was it the right decision? My husband says he loves me. And that while he is attracted to the friend. This is just helping her out. They made not even have sex. Just help the girl get off. I just. I can't help but feel hurt and angry. Should they go through with it? Would this better our relationship in the long run? What are your opinions?

21 Answers

  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago
    Favourite answer

    You gave permission.  You opened the Pandora's box.  You can talk to your husband about stopping the whole thing but don't be surprised if it happens.  Its not gonna better your relationship tho.

  • 4 weeks ago

    Are you insane?! Why would you agree? Just because you’ve put on weight, that should not mean you should let go of your standards. You’ve also said He’s also put on weight, but are you thinking about another guy?? If not, that tells me you have decent morals and your husband does not 

  • r
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    It may be a phsical problem if hes healthy tell him go to the doctors for Viagra

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You two need to lose some weight and stop playing with your relationship like this. Anyone who can't get off with toys isn't going to get off with a live human either. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • K M
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    In my humble opinion, there might be a man out there who could help YOU out! Sometimes if someone has gained weight, the penetration part is harder, so if you could find someone with, , ,ahem , , , large equipment, it might give you the boost you need to achieve your own orgasm. Give it some thought.

  • Liz
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Actually, it shouldn't have been thought of. (Hebrews 13:4) "Let marriage be honorable among all, and let the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge sexually immoral people and adulterers." Something that you view as honorable is precious and valuable. You protect it and do not take it for granted. That is how Jehovah wants us to view marriage.

  • David
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    OK, before I answer this question... I have had many threesomes 2girls/1guy.  It was my girlfriend's idea at the time and took her a while to convince me to go for it.  I liked my girlfriend a lot, and our sex was fantastic.  I wasn't sure I wanted a third party to get in the mix to screw things up.  But when I decided to go along with it...

    Well, my girlfriend and I are both very oral and very orally gifted.  Several times, we would take turns "triggering" the other girl orally.  We could give her powerful orgasms for HOURS at a time.  It was fun for all three of us...

    We gave her so much pleasure that she actually wanted to marry us.  I mean, the other girl wanted to marry BOTH of us.  (!!!!!)

    Now, why am I telling you that story?  Well, the question I read really confuses me.  A married couple can't have normal sex.   OK.  A friend of a friend is having some trouble getting off.  OK.  She wants the husband to help.  OK.  But....WHAT ABOUT THE WIFE????

    The neighbor girl who joined us for threesomes identified herself as straight, not lesbian and NOT bi-sexual.  But she'd heard my girlfriend and I having a lot of fun and she was jealous.  So when we approached her to ask if she'd like to join us, she was IN!!!  And it was probably the best sex of her life...before or since...

    My point is, regardless of the sexual orientation of anyone involved...there is ZERO reason for your husband to take on this task alone.  You should make it clear that this is going to be a three-person project, or it's just not going to happen.

  • kristy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You never know unless you try it. They could let you watch if you wanted to.

  • Tj
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Why are you on here and not at a divorce attorney's office.  It will not help your marriage, if anything it will be worse and it time break it up. Let her cheat with another. Your husband is pig. You both meed professional help.

  • Topaz
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    She gets pregnant as she's horny and so is he. He will be paying child support for 18 years. The struggle u three will have will be insane. Don't do something u will regret. He's your husband not hers. Find ways to be intimate with your own man start walking before dinner eat on a saucer plate what what u eat and u will trim down

     Water friluit veggies lean chicken or hamburger. U will drop like crazy feel better to.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.