How do I deal with feeling like my wife and child don't care about me on "special days"?

I'm beginning to dread certain days that traditionally involve well-wishes and gifts . because I feel like I'm an afterthought to my family.  For my 50th birthday a few years ago, my wife asked if I wanted a party.  I said no and that I'd rather spend the day with just her and our child at a theme park (we had annual passes).   Once I said that, any interest in my birthday ended.  No gift, just a card with a promise of a gift that never materialized and we didn't take the trip to the theme park as a family.  In fact, the next two times that she went, she made a big deal of taking our niece.   For our anniversary this year, at the start of the statewide shutdown because of the pandemic, I gave her the custom-made gift she had requested --- she gave me nothing (not even a card) and said she couldn't get me anything because of the pandemic but would get me something later.  Three months later: nothing.  She made me a basket for teacher appreciation week but forgot to give it to me for over a month.  For my birthday, my daughter started to make me a present but didn't finish it in time so she stopped working on it and left it on our coffee table unfinished for the past six weeks.  On Father's Day, my wife purchased a last minute gift while she was shopping with our child and while I was waiting in the car; the gift was something I already have.  The only person who gave me a Father's Day card was my mother.  The behavior won't change so how do I deal with these feelings? 

1 Answer

  • 5 months ago

    For special occasions in their lives, make them a card and write in it that you realize they do not care for gifts but you still wanted to tell them how special they are to you. If they complain, explain that you thought that was true because you don't receive gifts or acknowledgments  from them. 

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