How do I stop being abusive in my relationship?

I am 20 years old. As is my boyfriend. I’ve been with him for about a year now, and it has undoubtedly been a heavy year for everyone.I love him more than anything. He is my best friend, I can’t laugh more with anyone else. He knows me like no one ever could. So why am I so abusive? He cheated on me at the very beginning of our relationship. I gave him a second chance but ever since then, I’d lash out on him every time I’d drink. And we’re heavy drinkers (which I would love to fix). I’ve said and done things that he just holds on to. I’ll get so blackout drunk I’ll just tell him I hate him over and over again. I have healed a lot, but I feel so bad for him. He has so many amazing friends that love him and a family that loves him, and I don’t have either. He is my family and my best friend. I almost don’t feel like I’m good enough so that’s why I lash out. I’ve been dealing with severe depression the past 3 months which haven’t made anything better. When times are good, they’re really good. But when I’m lashing out and saying unforgivable things and hurting him, there is a lot of damage done. I want to be so happy that our relationship is good all the time and I’m not emotionally abusive. But I don’t know how to fix my problem. I freaked out on him in front of all of our friends that love us, I drunkenly slammed the door in his face. This morning I asked him why he puts up with me and he jokingly said “because I’m stupid” he didn’t mean it but it hit me incredibly hard.

2 Answers

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  • Peep
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Take anger management classes

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I feel like maybe this is an issue that can be solved with therapy, couples therapy, or maybe even an AA group to get your drinking under control. You may love each other very much, but this relationship is extremely toxic and it's only going to end with one or both of you getting hurt. Talk to your boyfriend about it and see what he thinks the best step could be. 

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