Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

How to move on from an embarrassing and disappointing situation with an opportunity with a beautiful women who was attracted to me.  ?

I am 32. I have been part of the casual hook-up culture since I was 22. I have never had a serious girlfriend. I moved to Shanghai for a year to teach. I was also going to look for a girlfriend and do the whole wining, and dining, and connecting for once. Unfortunately I met a gorgeous 22 year old Irish girl in my boarding group and I was stuck with her for 2 weeks. I talked to her but it was obvious we didn't mesh really well. Yet, she was still following me around, and I wasn't sure why. I didn't really speak to anyone in the boarding group. Most of them were younger. The last day, at the hotel before I went to my new apartment she went out of her way and confronted me to ask me for my number and then tell me she has a partner (husband). I was so confused at the time. She added me to a group chat with the other 20 something kids. I could tell they were looking to party, which makes total sense but i felt I was too old for them. Im an attractive guy and they wanted to hang. The virus hit China and I couldn't teach at my school, and since i live by myself, that group was my only source for socializing for months. I chose to stay in and drink. I didn't hang with them. The were obviously looking for casual hook ups, but as time went on I got feelings for her and I called her about them. She responded saying sorry I can't hear you, there is a dick in my ear, and a guy was laughing. This hurt me a lot more than it should of. Never really been this emotionally hurt and shocked.

1 Answer

  • ......
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    She led you on and yeah I can understand, how it feels to get burned badly by a woman.

    I got burned badly by most of the women I've liked.

    The last female I like, feels like she'll be the last woman I'll EVER like and she and her sister treated me like garbage. 

    The last woman I liked, led me on badly. 

    She told me that she liked me and liked talking to me.

    I told her how I felt to her face and in a birthday card (I even got her a necklace and earrings).

    I asked her out on a date and she gave me a lame excuse.

    Despite being at my job less than a year, she ended up getting 3 different management positions.

    She transferred to my department to be one of my supervisors because her older sister is a supervisor in my department.

    How did she get a third management?

    Whenever my head manager didn't want to eat free work cafeteria, he would have her leave work to get him take out food. 

    When I blew up her one day at work, she decided to suspend me.

    While she was one of my supervisors, she witnessed one of my coworkers threatening to fight me in the work parking lot and she never bothered to suspend him or write him up.

    Her older sister (met them at my last job), made up lies about me by saying that I threatened her, harassed her and was in love with her.

    It made no sense that I would do any of that to a woman whose sister I used to like who ended up leading me on.

    The older sister never mentioned to human resources that her and I flirted with each other at times and that we gave each other Christmas gifts back in December 2018.

    The older sister was more beautiful than her sister who I liked but I already liked her sister and her sister led me on (her sister never told her that I liked her or that we flirted with each other and talked about going on a date together).

    I'm the one who told the older sister how come I ended up ignoring her sister which she never apologized to me for her sister leading me on.

    Also, the older sister has a husband and 2 young daughters in elementary school.

    It's a real long story but I lost my job and got it back when I won my case only for the older sister and my head manager and another supervisor to make up a story by saying that I cursed out some women.

    Luckily, I ended up moving on and getting a new job 3 months ago although my hours are erratic every week and there's no perks (no vacation, no medical or retirement benefits). 

    For me, I'm burnt out when it comes to women.

    I'm NOT angry though.

    I don't see myself ever falling/befriending a woman ever again.

    I'm not and can't feel sorry for myself.

    You gotta know that you deserve someone decent or right for you.

    I hope that I've helped answer your question and take care. ~Alan

    • ...Show all comments
    • ......
      Lv 5
      1 month agoReport

      There will ALWAYS be another woman Redmond. You just don't know when it finally happens that the woman you're friends with or just get along with or you fall for, is going to backstab you until she finally ends up doing so. 

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