Advice please ?
So I recently was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding of a friend. A little back story, I pretty much feel like a cushion to this friend here recently that when no one else is around I’m the backup plan. I have always been there to talk her through her problems but when it comes to my problems all she can say is “wow.” She doesn’t fully help me or talk with me about them. Most of the time she leaves them on read and her excuse is she was too busy or her psychopath boyfriend read it. Which really bothers me that I trust her with personal info and he is reading the messages. I told her that too. Well anyways a couple days ago we got into huge argument that I couldn’t go last dress shopping because I was busy. She flipped on me basically saying I was a bad friend and that she was so done with me. You can’t just plan a wedding out of the blue in less than a month and expect me to drop everything to buy a dress. So she apologized the other day and asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was actually suppose to be the maid of honor but I got demoted because I couldn’t go dress shopping. Lol. So she asked if I could use my amazon to buy stuff for her wedding. I honestly think the reason she apologized was for that.
So she could use me. After that I just kinda think it’d be best if I was a guest because I don’t even support the wedding. The guy she is marrying is so controlling and is a psychopath. So with me not supporting it. I think it’s best I am not in it. I feel like bad person for doing this to her but I just don’t want any part. I’m not sure how to tell her without feeling like crap.
- OcimomLv 71 month ago
I would seriously decline being in the wedding and attending. Don't let her use your Amazon account to buy stuff either. Tell her you have changed your mind and cannot be in the wedding. Then walk away from this "friend". She is using you big time if you let her.
- TrishLv 51 month ago
How you feel and what you intend to do is fine but you have to realize that if you want no part of it and don't support the marriage you are no longer friends and probably should reconsider being a guest.
- Anonymous1 month ago
(just want to state that not many people know how to help others with their problems like you do)
on the other hand, a lot of brides act like this. i wouldn't even show up to the wedding if i were you. and if she asks why, show her what you said in this question
- dripLv 71 month ago
Got to ask why are you even thinking of being in the wedding party now?
You knew the wedding was short notice and that you would need to shop for a dress ASAP.
You don’t seem to have the time needed. That is ok. Why should you feel like crap for not want to take the time or effort.
Just tell her Sorry I think I will pass on being in the wedding party. I don’t have the time to devote to it. I do look forward to being there as a guest and celebrating with you.
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- JerryLv 71 month ago
"Thank you for offering me this honor, but I can't accept."
Say no more to her, to anyone, about your grievances or misgivings. Not relevant. All that is relevant is that you choose to not accept the offered honor.
If you get inappropriate "Why not?" questions, then you sidestep and deflect with responses that don't say anything:
"It just doesn't work for me right now."
"I can't possibly manage to do this."
"It's a kind offer, but I can't accept."
"It's something I can't take on."
"In good faith, I can't make that commitment."
And so on.
- TjLv 71 month ago
Tell her NO. she is not a friend.