Anonymous

Who is wrong here:me or my dad?

There was time when i was aimless and did not have a hobby or a talent.My dad used to constantly insult me for that.

Now that i have a hobbies.I'm paint and write poetry.

My teachers and peers like my work and tell me keep it going.I submit paintings and poems for the school magazine.I do it like once in a couple of weeks.Everytime my dad sees me working on it he insults me.He says that i do this "non sense" because i'm stupid and good for nothing and he thinks I'm only doing this decieve people into believing that i'm competent.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    It's never a great idea to denigrate a child. But if you're managing to get good grades and you have a viable life plan (P.S. that likely won't be painting or poetry as those things are nearly impossible to turn into a paying career) I wouldn't worry about what Dad says. Chances are he's got his own issues and is just projecting onto you.

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  • 1 month ago

    Oh I'm so sorry you even felt the need to ask that. 

    No one, especially your dad, should ever make you feel bad for doing something you like, especially something as innocent as painting and writing poems. 

    He sounds like he has problems. I know it's tough having a parent who has a lot of stuff to work through but it's important to acknowledge when they're doing or saying bad things so you don't grow up developing complexes and insecurities. Just remember, the bad things they're doing or saying are more of a reflection of their problems, not yours. 

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  • 1 month ago

    A parent insulting their child because a child is not living up to the parent's expectations is always, ALWAYS wrong.

    It is your life, not your father's.  I understand its difficult when you are still a dependent minor living at home, but that will change soon enough.  

    I'm glad you found something you enjoy doing.  Keep on doing it and don't ever live your life according to someone else's expectations because that is a recipe for misery.  Look around you, how many miserable adults there are...so many are unhappy because they are living their lives according to what other people tell them.

    Your father sounds like a real peach.  His maladaptive way of parenting probably comes from how he was treated growing up.  Try to look at him with as much compassion as you can muster because he sounds like a truly miserable human being who will be left with his misery when his child moves out and has no desire to look back.

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