don’t want to invite a family member to my wedding?

I don’t want my aunt and her husband of the year to come to my wedding. she’s always been so horrible to me - like actually physically hitting me, along with metal abuse. Here’s the problem: my mom raised her kids and they’re like my brother and sister so i obviously want them at my wedding. and she lives with my grandmother- who is the whole reason i’m having a proper wedding.

how am i supposed to invite her [adult] children and her roommate, and not her? and if we’re at family gatherings after?

she’s just terrible and i can’t have her ruining a great day.

19 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Send her a special invitation, briefly stating that in spite of her horrible behavior toward you in the past, you are making a consession of good will that she will display mature behavior  at your wedding or otherwise be escorted out of the festivjties.

    Then, have a conversation with yourself and state that you refuse to give up an ounce of happiness on your wedding day.

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  • L
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Your wedding - your decision.  However since they live with your grand mother, go ahead and invite them............you just don't have to spend time with them during the wedding and reception.  Be the better person here.

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  • 2 months ago

    Sometimes it is hard to do things, even though its what needs to be done.  Your situation reminds me, of the song by Harry Chapin, Cats In The Cradle.  I am sure the father loved his son, but how he showed his son as long as you say I love you, you do not have to make time for that person.  At some point to be around someone they need to treat you right.  kind, caring, respectful, and not physically or emotionally hurtful.  I am not sure you can say I love them, but do not like them.  I uses to say this about one sister who has always been selfish, and nothing you did, say or give was good enough.  I have another sister, sadly to say she was raped when I was 13.  And she took her pain out on me, was cruel and abusive.  I did not make a issue, but avoided spending time with both of them, unless it was a whole family get together.  My one sister never went out of her way to help anyone, and did not say thank you most of the time.  So by the time I was about 30 yrs old, I started doing the same to her. As for my other sister, I acknowledged her pain, but told her, I would not accept her being cruel, or abusive to me anymore.  I am sure the rest of your family knows about the abuse you say happened.  And I do not know you so I do not know if you were being a jerk to her.  As with my sister, and 87% of prisoners who were abused, do not have the right to take their pain on you.  You could be a bigger person, and go the extra mile and talk to her.  Assuming the way you see it is fact.  You have done nothing to hurt or was cruel to her, before she was cruel to you.  Most people are not psychotic, meaning they are not mean or cruel to someone who has not hurt them, or at least think that person hurt them.  Ask her why she appears does not like you.  Ask her if I hurt you, please tell me what I did.  If I did not hurt you, why do you seem so mad at me.  Depending on her answer, will tell you if she will come to your wedding.  Either you work it out right then and there, or she won't be invited.  Now if you are not the angel you claim to be, and may have done something to hurt your aunt, you might want to apologize yourself.   Bottom line is if you think she can not behave herself and will cause a scene, do not invite her.  If you choose not to invite your aunt, tell her kids asap, that you are not inviting their mother. But want them to come, but if they feel uncomfortable, you would understand if they did not want to come.  

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  • 2 months ago

    simple!!...it is your wedding!!!....and you invite .all who have been good to you!!

    and NEVER invite people who in past have treated you bad!!..that would just RUIN all 

    your happiness!!

    at at family gatherings....so what?!!...let them talk all they want!!!...you HAD your day!!

    and enjoyed it!!!...and just simply ignore that negative aunt!!.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Don't invite her; problem solved.  They can talk about it at family gatherings but the bottom line is she was awful to you in the past and didn't get invited because of it all.  Let them talk.

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  • 2 months ago

    This is no time to appease. You will lose if you appease. Have it out with her. Get her alone. Tell her off so completely that she either has to humbly beg forgiveness or acknowledge an open feud. If you’re having an open feud, she won’t expect an invitation and no one will expect her to be there

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  • 2 months ago

    Discuss it with it your grandmother.

    Everyone is going to tell you it is your day, you make the decisions.  But that isn't true unless you are paying for everything too.  It sounds like your grandmother is the actual host, thus it should be her decision whether or not your aunt is invited.  You are free to share your thoughts with your grandmother, but ultimately it is her call not yours. 

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  • 2 months ago

    that's what invitations are for. YOU send invites to people you want there and not to ones you do not want. HAVE a close friend check invitations at the door and refuse to let anyone in not invited with a invitation.. 

    ITS your wedding... right..

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Have you mentioned this to your mother or grandmother?  How do they feel about it. Do they know about the abuse? 

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Always difficult with family.  Someone is going to be butt hurt no matter what you do.

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