Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureReligion & Spirituality · 1 month ago

Is it normal to be angry towards your deceased loved one for dying ?

Has anyone had their anger directed towards their deceased loved ones. With age-old expressions like ‘don’t speak ill of the dead,’ it’s no wonder some might feel that acknowledging their anger is as good as besmirching their loved one’s memory.For instance, A death by overdose, drunk driving, etc in which you feel anger that they used a substance and put themselves in harm’s way. A death by risky behavior (high-speed driving, risky sports, riding a motorcycle, etc) in which the death feels avoidable.Can anyone relate? Is it normal to be angry for them for dying?

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  • 1 month ago

    I think it's perfectly natural to feel anger towards any person that causes the death of your loved one, especially if they caused it by being foolish, negligent, or intentionally murderous. I don't think such anger is necessarily lessened in a situation where the killer and the victim are one and the same person.

    Hopefully, in time, the conflicting emotions can be sorted through. In my opinion, that's not the kind of anger that should be held on to. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Yes. It's part of the grieving process. Process it and go on.

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  • 1 month ago

    Yes, it is normal.  Even when we know the person was in no way responsible for dying, the pain of losing that person can make us angry.  Does it make sense?  No.  But we're talking emotions here, and no one can hurt us more than those we love.

    Source(s): Greek Orthodox Christian
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  • 1 month ago

    No one dies on purpose. Even the people who commit suicide only do it because they feel trapped and are simply trying to take back control of their lives by ending it on their terms. If you can die doing what you love consider yourself lucky. Most die old, poor, and miserable, full of regret, because they were so focused on pleasing their friends and family that they forgot about themselves. Most religions will tell you this is the proper way to live, however the happiness and joy they promise you is no guarantee. Your good deeds will not always be returned to you and evil people will never see justice unless you do something about it. That is how the real world works. Blaming the dead won't solve anything. You can't change the past just learn from it and don't make their same mistakes. 

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  • Saad M
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Death is part of fate and every soul belongs to God.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    The dead can't really defend themselves from your insults. The least we can do is not speak ill of them now that they're gone. As always, there are exceptions to this rule. Hitler comes to mind. Some people's deed should Never be forgotten, lest our short-lived race repeat their actions in the space of 2 generations.

    How they died is very important here. Risky behavior as you call it, doing extreme sports, driving fast, etc. The people doing those things are addicted to the adrenaline it gives them, and if they enjoy it, we shouldn't stop them. Death is a part of the risk, and I guarantee you that they don't regret doing these things. They might regret messing up, but they're dead, we can't really ask.

    As for death by substance abuse, you do have a right to be angry, but you also need to figure out on whom the blame rests. Every substance abuser can be rather easily found out. Stopped, even, just by having someone else walk in while they're 'shooting up' or whatever.

    In those cases, your anger won't fade until you can understand, to a degree, what drove them to seek those substances, and the effects they provide, and what you might've done to prevent their OD.

    Don't feel too bad though, those who OD suffer from a lack of self control. Intervention doesn't always work, it's usually not fast enough, and while it may make you angry, there's nothing you can do to change it. People make their own choices. If those choices kill them, all you can really do is remember the good times you had with them.

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