Belle asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 month ago

I'm craving something I have never had?

I'm 16 and never been in love - Christ - I've never had a proper boyfriend but that's okay, I'm only young. The thing is, I don't search for just a normal boyfriend - one that you may go out with for a bit and you find him funny or whatever, but someone who is my soul mate. I know it's probably impossible, or just very hard to find, but all I want is to find that person. Have a true, raw connection, and for, in a way, our romance to be a little like the ones in movies (unrealistic expectations, I know). In the past, I've had many full-blown obsessions with celebrity boys like Dylan O'Brien and currently Harry Styles and it really does become an infatuation, and I just can't stop it. It consumes my whole world because it's what I want so badly. I don't know how to word this correctly, but whenever I watch clips of them on YouTube or fantasise in my head about whatever kind of romantic scenario, I get this feeling, a feeling like my heart is about to burst or a feeling like I'm home. However, it's all fictional really. These boys don't fancy me, and all the goings-on in my head are solely, well, in my head. It really scares me that I'll never find this feeling in real life and that the romance that I want, I won't get. Has anyone felt the same? Advise?

2 Answers

  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Your feelings seem really strong for these celebrities and your heart seems in the right place but my best advice is maybe pull back on how much you're browsing those people online because it is unrealistic that something would transpire. You will most likely find someone who will be your "soul mate" but also understand that while there are many people you could be compatible with out there no one is going to be absolutely perfect. I love my husband and he does sooo many things that make me so grateful for him but also sometimes his feet smell or he doesnt help with the dishes. You can find someone whose good qualities outweigh the bad. Dont let the thought of a perfect guy consume you or you might not let yourself be open to someone. 

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Everyone feels that way at your age. It's rare to find your soul mate at such a young age. You've got a lot to experience yet. Finishing your education, finding a job, establishing a life for yourself, etc. Somewhere along that process you will find him. The problem comes when you build someone up so much in your mind, it's hard for a real life person to meet your expectations. If you constantly compare someone to the celebrity crush you've developed in your head, you may just miss the right guy.

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