Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 month ago

How do you handle or compromise with your spouse completely giving up a type of food and sort of forcing you to do the same?

My wife recently decided to give up red meat, and it wasnt a big deal but now shes sort of demanding I do the same, I love fish, chicken and turkey deli meat, but I cannot stand turkey burgers, bacon, meatballs and Im starting to dread every meal. I haven't even cooked some of my favorite meals in a long time because id rather have nothing than to substitute with ground turkey meat, it sucks

Update:

Neither of us are really unhealthy, I am 29, 6'1" and weigh 190 lbs, my wife is shorter than me but doesn't have any kind of gut at all, I would say slim. So I understand eating healthy about half the time, but occasionally I want a beef burger, beef meatballs, but if I were to just make for myself, it would come off selfish

Update 2:

Meal planning is about 50/50 but if I were plan for red meat, she would be upset, and it is usually based on who gets off work first and how hard the day was which makes it about 50/50. I don't think she just wants to control me, but feels tempted by the red meat. Shes always complaining that my sweet tooth tempts her to eat chocolate lol. It feels so one-sided but I don't want to take away her effort to be healthy in her on way.

20 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Why don't you go out together and you can have red meat while she has something else.  You'll be grateful she takes care of herself and you.

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  • 1 month ago

    Unless there is a very good medical reason this is not the basis of a compromise.  If it is about healthy eating some compromises can involve smaller portion sizes, or leaner cuts of meat.  It might mean reducing sweet things or even salt.  It might mean increasing exercise.  There are many ways to create a healthier life if that really is the motivation of your wife.  A compromise is where something isn't perfect for either of you but is something that you can both live with.

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  • 1 month ago

    Tell her that you respect her food choices and respect her wishes, but that you cannot like to cook some meals yourself. You are going to have to do some food prepping. Buy some of the food you like prepare them separately. Start food prepping your meat early maybe the next day or the morning before work. When you get home simply cook your meal. Also is there a dish that you both can agree on that you like. 

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  • Oh my gosh!  This happened to my daughter when her boyfriend showed her videos of abuse on cattle on u-tube.  She went totally vegan!

    He is a big guy (6'2")!  For him to have to suffer eating without meat was beyond his comprehension of reasoning.  (Actions speak louder than words!)  He opened that window and now I'm sure - he wishes he hadn't.

    After ten years though, he has finally found space to permeate that boundary.  :D

    Source(s): Mother-in-law Life is Good! :D
    • Andrew Smith
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      I grow my own cattle.  Even though I kill one for meat each year they are treated well and are pets.  One does not and should not abuse things.  Yet that has nothing to do with Veganism.

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  • 1 month ago

    If your spouse does the cooking then you have to start making it yourself.   Your spouse should not have to cook meat for you any longer.   Otherwise, if you cook it AND clean up the dishes yourself then you don't have to change.   The question is, "Are you expecting your spouse to shop, cook, clean, and take care of this FOR YOU?"

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  • 1 month ago

    You need to talk to her and tell her that you respect her food choices and she needs to respect yours. As simple as that.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You tell her you'll cook your own meals and you'll cook what you want to. Unless you're overweight or have some other health problems eating red meat once or twice a week isn't going to kill you. It's just not something one can do every day. Ideally most of your diet should come from plants even if there's meat on the side. So if you've got a healthy diet with lean protein sources and plenty of leafy greens and you're at your ideal weight you shouldn't have to go on this crusade with her. These are things we all negotiate in marriage.

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  • 1 month ago

    Uh.....well, I understand her point of view. and I understand yours, too. But you can cook for yourself, you can eat whatever you want away from her.

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  • 1 month ago

    Plan a few meals a week where you each cook for yourselves allowing you to enjoy your red meat and for her to continue her new diet while still eating together. Feel free to moan as you bite into that juicy cheeseburger. Or save the red meat intake to when you go out to dinner.

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Hmm, who does the meal planning and food preparation? If she does all of that, unless you want to take over making your own meals, you need to respect what she prepares. Can you indulge in red meat at lunch (assuming you don’t work in the same place), and then have a red meat free dinner with her? 

    What is the reason behind her demand you also give up red meat? Is it because she finds it too tempting to be around? Is it a health concern? Is it a control thing? The only time I asked my husband to give up certain foods is when I was pregnant and certain smells would quite literally make me vomit. Other than that, I do most of the meal planning and prep at our house, so the family eats what I make. I do travel a fair amount for work, so if there is something he really has a taste for that I don’t like, he makes it when I’m out of town. It works out well as a compromise.

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