Choosing between moving and a job you love?
I am 23 years old and I have been at my current job for a little over a year and a half. I really love my job, the people I work with and how I am able to make a difference in my community (I work at a nonprofit) I am very trusted by my managers and I have a lot of say of how our organization runs.
I am currently living at home in New Jersey since I work 10 minutes away and nonprofit pay isn’t great. I really want to move out to a new city (Philadelphia or DC) where I have a lot of friends. At home, I only hang out with my parents and my boyfriend. Almost two years out of college, I feel like I am missing out since I don’t go out much, haven’t made any new friends and since I am still stuck living at home. I don’t want to move out around where my work is since rent is so high and I don’t love where I live enough to stay. I am very happy at my current job but my living situation, lack of friends and declining relationship make me want to leave.
Do you think it’s worth it to leave a job you are really passionate about if you are not happy where you are at in life? Have you been in a similar situation?
PS my organization doesn’t have any branches in those areas so I could not transfer.
Just an update when I say going out, I don’t mean going out to bars and getting drunk more so just doing things with friends like getting dinner, taking day trips, just socializing
- KherovaLv 71 month ago
I did something similar and regretted it. That said I am older, so going out is less of a draw for me these days than it used to be. It is hard to find a job you love with co-workers you like. That said, it really is just a gamble. There has to be a non-profit in the city(s) you want to move to that you would love, and has people you would love to work with. It is just a matter of if you can find it or not. As far as making the choice, you have to realize that you are not going to be in a place where the right choice will magically be clear to you. You will always have to just make choice with the info you have, knowing that there is a bunch of info you don't. You're making now, you'll be making it again tomorrow, and so on. If you go, and it turns out well, you will look back and say you made the right choice. If you go, and it turns out rotten, you will think it was the wrong choice. But all the stuff leading up to the moment of that decision will be the exact same. It is the how it ends up turning out that will go back in time and make that choice a good one or not. Realize you have some control over that paradox, but not complete control. Life is just deciding to choose or not, and dealing with the consequences. Once you do decide, try to appreciate what is good about your choice, and let go of the path not taken, because you'll likely assume it was better, but it very well might not have been. The important thing is to make the choice, even if it is to stay, because that is empowering. You can always change your mind, but if you always look to imaginary alternatives, you will feel at the mercy of life's whims. If you don't decide, you lose both, because you never fully appreciate what you have. (also, bonus insight, there is always a third option you aren't aware of, and often if you look for that, it ends up being superior to both. It likes to hide beyond your conscious awareness, though).
- NosehairLv 71 month ago
Your desire to stay is really just based on hiding in your comfort zone. You're 23, there's a big world out there and it time to get out there. You should also get a college degree but it's time to fly.
- 1 month ago
Keep the job you love
- MamawidsomLv 71 month ago
Step #1 is research. You need to figure out what jobs you're qualified for and what those jobs pay. Would you be able to rent a place to live (and still have money to go out)? Ask some of those friends whether or not they'd really be willing to take you on as a roommate and what the rent would be. Ask them how often they go out on the town and what they do. You need a reality to check to ensure that the change in venue will actually deliver on the things you think are missing in your life.
If you find that you can find a job with a livable wage and a place you can afford, go for it. Apply for some jobs, get the whole roommate thing moving along, etc.
As for your boyfriend. Don't hold on to him if you aren't happy. That's not fair to either of you. You might discover that you'd be more content if your current love life was better, regardless of where you live.
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- tiescoreLv 61 month ago
Quietly dispassionately and unemotionally consider the two options. Thing long term and short term, consider why you want to leave, what is great about stay, why you want to stay, what is great about leaving. Now flip a coin heads you stay, tails you leave.......... where you relived or disappointed in the result of the flip? There's your answer. But personally IMHO its harder to find a meaningful job you love then friends... you might consider shaking up your personal life where your at if its not fulfilling.
- ALv 71 month ago
There have to be people in your current area to connect with. Join a gym, a club, take a class. It would be a major mistake to leave your job and find the next one was no better