Anonymous

I need help with my girlfriend who has depression and is probably addicted to alcohol and weed?

My girlfriend has depression, she started getting better until she got alcohol. Now's she's trying to go to parties and get drunk and high. She gets drunk and high because of her depression. I've tried helping her with this, by going as far as taking alcohol from her hands and locking it in a room, she cried over it. I love her and I want what's best for her. She claims alcohol helps her but she was wonderful for so long and now she has more moments where she seems miserable because she doesn't have alcohol or weed. I'm not sure what to do. She gets alcohol and weed from her sister, friends, and parties. She tried to get better and hot alcohol once because she "can't get any for a long time", and she's way worse. I'm not sure what to do. I still love her so I want her to get better. I'm considering telling her parents but she would be mad if I did. Any advice? 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    GF is an alcoholic and a pot head. And you're only enabling her behavior, just like her sister is. You're not helping her at all.

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  • 1 month ago

    here's the thing. neither depression or alcoholic are curable. They can be treated and managed, but not cured. Sometimes those with depression can seem like they're doing really well to others, but inside, they're doing horrible. Even when depression is managed they'll be times they're doing great, and times where they're doing awful. I don't know as much about alcoholic, not even enough to say that's what she has. but I'm always hearing people, even if they've been sober for decades say they're an alcoholic and have been sober for x amount of years. Just try to understand there's no cure, it can be managed. and some days she'll be horrible for no reason at all. Do you know what kind of depression she has?

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  • Mr. L.
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    One Word:  “Al-Anon”

    They won’t cure your GF, they’ll teach you to accept the fact that you can’t fix her either.

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  • 1 month ago

    Dump her...she is using you as a buffer. I don't know how old you are but life will be much better for you without her. Wake up and smell the coffee!

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    My heart goes out to you.

    But, tragically but true, there is nothing that you or anyone else can do about her addiction until SHE decides she needs and wants help.

    By all means, tell her parents; she needs all the support that you and others can give.

    You may find that linking up with AlAnon would be a great support to you.....it is especially there for friends of alcohol addicts.

    • ko1 month agoReport

      Unless she has crappy parents. She wouldn't be the first alchoholic to have nasty or useledd parents.

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  • 1 month ago

    You need to dump this girl, dude. She's bad news and needs major medical and psychological help that you can't give.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You could always explain to her that alcohol on top of her antidepressants can be fatal. Hopefully she's at least being honest with her doctors about what's going on. If you know her parents maybe you could enlist their help. Drinking when you're on psychotropic medication is very, very, very bad news.

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  • 1 month ago

    Just have sex with her until she passes out, be much better for her than alcohol.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I get that you love her but you can't make her change. But you might try telling her the truth and that's that alcohol worsens depression and it may not seem like it to her because she might be a happy drunk but it does hit you the next day. She's making these problems that she has worse because she's avoiding them whatever it is that's causing her pain she's not wanting to deal with it. The most you can do is be there for her and make sure that she doesn't take it too far and if she does then you have to tell her parents because that would be her life in danger.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    As someone that's depressed and suppresses it daily with alcohol and cannabis, I can tell you, she will do what she wants. You won't drill down to the core of her issues until SHE is ready to try and tackle them, which may never happen. You can try and reduce her exposure, but that it isn't really your place to interfere if that's the way she wants to live her life. You would be better off trying to get her to see a therapist. But some of us in life are just broken and sometimes, some of us just aren't fixable. And getting out of a spiral like that, has to come from the willpower to escape it. It can't come from others, because nobody else can relate. If you tell her parents, she will flip, she will be angry and she will go out and get really drunk and spark up a reefer. I would just support her and try to encourage her to a) talk to you. And b) get some quality therapy. 

    I can tell you now, your body can take a hell of a beating, she has another decade of doing that before it does some serious, irreversible harm, so it isn't imperative she sorts herself out now. It would be great, but it has to be at her pace. The best thing she can do is express why she feels the way she does, and try to find a practical and less harmful way of dealing with her feelings. 

    But the more people try and force her to change her behaviour and to express herself, the more she will backlash and close in on herself. So you can only encourage and support her, not force her. 

    It's sad, but some people just don't want to be fixed. Or can never see that they can. If she is one of those people and it tears you apart, maybe you just have to be selfish and get on with your own life. Of course try first, but if you can't get anywhere, don't let yourself spiral into soemthing rotten as well. 

    Good luck, I hope she can see some promise of a better way to live. I hope you can help her see that. Just don't force her to change or it will backfire. 

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