Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 1 month ago

Should I leave my husband? ?

When I met my husband I wasn’t interested in dating him, he kept on applying pressure to me about this and I eventually agreed to give him a chance ( he knew me and his mum were close and used this to his advantage saying that she wanted him to meet someone like me). Then once we started dating he pressured me to get engaged, I said yes but at a later date when we know each other better if things are still going well, he then chose to propose to me in the most public way so I couldn’t even say to him that I had said I wanted to wait. 

We then started planning our wedding, I wanted to get married with all my family there he kept applying pressure into I got married abroad like he wanted, I kept trying to have the wedding of my dreams- he found fault in every venue I chose until we ended up doing things as close to how he wanted them as possible and so that we got married quicker than I would have wanted. Now we’re married he’s starting to apply pressure for children and for his other children ( who throughout our relationship has said will be living with their mother) to live with us. I’m so fed up I feel like my life isn’t even mine anymore, I used to be close to so many people and now I feel like I’ve lost lots of people. 

20 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    4 weeks ago

    yeah of you want to it's your choice, no one elses!

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  • Raja
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    What makes you to think that you should leave your husband.See whether those problems could be settled mutually in order to save the marriage.If you are so frustrated to feel that your life is no longer yours it is far better to get legally separated.You should take this decision if all the other options have failed.

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  • 1 month ago

    No. You clearly don't possess the ability to make decisions for yourself and depend on others, primarily your husband, to make them for you. Without your husband you would be lost. Plus its clear you refuse to take responsibility for yourself so without your husband you wouldn't have anyone to blame everything on. You need to stay with him because you need his care. You aren't ready to enter into the adult world all by yourself … yet.

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  • 1 month ago

    Try some marriage counseling and see how it goes from there. Maybe you two can work it out. Have either of you tried making things better? 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You're an adult there shouldn't be an allowance for pressuring you into so very much.  Try to take control.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You cannot blame your husband for your incredibly weak Constitution. You keep blaming him for all of your mistakes, when in fact you had the choice to make the decisions that were right for you, but you chose not to respect yourself or your desires.

    If I were you I would secretly go on birth control because I don't think you're strong enough not to have sex with him and fall pregnant with an unwanted child. You allow him to pressure you  into  dating , getting engaged ,  planning the wedding you did not want ,  and getting married .  So I imagine ,  him pressuring you for unprotected sex is probably already happening . You know, making your own mistakes is one thing for you to suffer through, but you ringing a child into this world and add that poor child to your unhappy life  with a controlling husband in an unhappy marriage is an emotional crime. Don't you dare get pregnant or bring a child into your dysfunctional relationship.

    And now he wants to retrieve his children from their mother and come live with you so you can raise them with your own baby? You do realize that he has completely manipulated you and set you up for this, don't you? He doesn't respect you, he doesn't respect your life or your desires. He just wants to control you and use you for what he wants.

    Because you have become his ball of clay to mold anyway he wishes, he has gotten used to the idea that you are completely controllable. The moment you start talking to him about your feelings oh, he will try to control them as well, as usual. There is no talking 2 or reasoning with your husband because he doesn't give a crap about your feelings. He never did care about what you felt, so don't be foolish enough to think that one day he will respect or care or listen to what you want. Therefore discussing anything with him is a waste of your time. When he is at work, just walk out and leave him. Stop playing the victim as you have been a willing participant up until this point.

    Stop being a weakling, take control of your life, pull up your big girl pants and divorce you're controlling manipulative husband. Call your parents and have them send you the money so you can up and leave him and go home.

    If you think your life is bad now, a baby is going to ruin you and your spirit and your life. No unwanted child deserves that. Don't you dare get pregnant and bring an innocent baby into your miserable marriage. It's not going to make you happy, so if he pressures you, know this... Your baby will grow up to hate you, just like you hate your life.

    Pressure pressure pressure, he pressured me, he pressured me, pressure pressure pressure. Get a grip and start taking control of your own life.

    Girl, you need to see a psychiatrist, as soon as possible,  for as long as possible.

  • 1 month ago

    ...why did you let any of this happen?

    Yes, leave.

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  • 1 month ago

    It’s not going to get any better, and it’s going to be a million times harder to leave him if you have a baby with him.

    So if you’re not happy now, then you should probably leave.

    Call your parents, if they’re supportive, and ask them to come get you. If your parents would tell you to stay with him desire being unhappy, then don’t bother calling them (I wouldn’t even tell them you’re leaving him until you’ve legally filed for divorce, in fact), and call a supportive friend instead. Anyone who truly loves you and wants the best for you will come pick you up if you tell them you’re unhappy and want to leave.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Probably. But that would require growing a spine and standing up for yourself, something you've apparently never done before.

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  • Fuhr
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    Always solicit marriage advice from Yahoo Answers.  Your husband needs to run.  Run fast, run far.  Far away from you.

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