kayla asked in HealthMental Health · 8 months ago

My neighbor death 1 year anniversary is next week I’m sad is it normal?

Ok so I lost my neighbor to cancer February  2 last year. I remember he was a school bus driver and when I was younger, he took me to school when my parents couldn’t take me. He was sweet kind and had a good heart. I used to visit him every day after school. When I heard the news that he lost battle with cancer, I was devastated. It made me sad. It’s been almost a year and I am am so depressed. I don’t know if I should not grieve or what. I want to cry because of how much i miss him. I don’t know what to do on that day. It’s really hitting me hard. If you know about death anniversaries and how to celebrate the death it would help. Thanks for feedback. 

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  • 8 months ago

    I could never figure out why people get all upset on a death anniversary. My parents are both dead and i think of them often. And the anniversary of their death is a completely different day than the day they passed on. It's not the same day at all, and i don't sit around thinking about it on those death anniversaries, to be honest.

    You can take flowers to his grave anytime, or light a candle for him if that's what you do. You can tell him you miss him anytime, right from where you are. You can cry anytime you want to, as well. And grieving is a process which we go through after someone dies. Everyone grieves in their own way.... and we eventually come to acceptance. There's no harm in it and grieving is a healthy process as well.

    You could do whatever you want in his memory on the date of his death.

    The reason we cry is because we miss the person, of course. But i'm going to bet he had a great life and that where ever he is, he knows you're thinking of him. And he'd want you to go forward with your life happily.

    be thankful for the people you've known. that's what i do.

    I'm not religious but we never know -- some day you may meet again!

    take care

  • 8 months ago

    It is quite normal to be sad on the death of someone you love, but continue to be sad for months together is not normal. Death is inevitable to those who are born and how and when it will come nobody can predict,.This is a fact of life and we have to accept it for living a sensible and happy life

  • 8 months ago

    Some people find it inportant to commemorate the anniversary of a death.

    Visiting a grave, tume spent in contemplation, participating in a previously shared activity, etc.

    Personally, I find death anniversaries rather odd and prefer to commemorate someone on their birthday, as a day I would previously have celebrated with them. Even then it is rarely more than a passing thought that getts less each year.

    The death of a neighbour sounds rather distant to be quite so devastating and if your grief is interfering with your life you probably should seek counselling.

    Death is a normal and inevitable partbof life and needs to be accepted as such.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    There are lots of ways to note the anniversary of a death. Some people visit the grave, while others see no point in that.

    What I like to do is devote my energy to a cause that person believed in on that date. Maybe you sign up for Big Brothers and Sisters, or volunteer to read aloud at the library, or whatever else you're sure he'd have approved of.

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