JP asked in Family & RelationshipsFriends · 3 weeks ago

How do I talk to someone when they can’t commit enough money for a trip and won’t compromise?

Me and 3 friends are going interailing this summer for a month and all of us agreed we have £3000 budget. One friend had just admitted she only has £1600. I understand and I don’t want her to have to not go so I keep suggesting ideas like cutting out Venice which would be very expensive or shortening the time that we go for but she is being very stubborn saying “I want to go to Venice, I won’t not go” and “it has to be a full month”. She thinks we can do it for €40 a day but considering many hostels in summer that our parents agree are safe are €30 a night, that doesn’t leave much for food and activities. I know money is a sensitive subject and my suggestions are just trying to make it easier for her to go but she’s being really mean every time i bring it up and tries to avoid the subject saying it’ll be fine. Any ideas on how to go about it?

3 Answers

Relevance
  • 3 weeks ago
    Favorite Answer

    Everyone is different. Some people are organised and others are not. You are a planner and you are organised with everything. It sounds like she is easy going and spur of the moment person. She’s probably a lot of fun and she’s not worried about much. Often times, these kind of people work themselves through problems easier than you expect . They are usually Spontaneous and easy to adapt. And maybe , she knows that her parents will back her up and will transfer money into her account when she runs out ? Also, if she runs out of money , she could go home on her own, maybe earlier than you two. She is really keen to come , by the sounds of it and she is determined to make it work. Why not have a get together before you all leave . You can talk about the final plans and have a conversation about your travels ? Encourage everyone to write some questions and have a fun night together in anticipation. You can write down : what will we do if : someone gets sick ? / runs out of money ? / needs to go home for some reason ? / looses important papers , phone or possessions ? These things are important to talk about anyway. You may all have to make sure to have copies of passports and rail passes , emergency phone numbers and so on. When it comes to the money side of things, try not to be too opinionated, it let others bring in ideas on what to do. In that way it doesn’t sound like you are overly worried about it and directed the question towards her. Always try to keep the peace and keep being respectful and kind.

    • JP3 weeks agoReport

      Thank you! Yes I see what you mean, she is normally quite fun to be around and I think her blunt attitude in this case took me by surprise. A get together nearer the time sounds like a great idea

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • 3 weeks ago

    She can't afford to take the trip that YOU are taking. That sounds flat out true and it's not remotely fair for the rest of the gang to cover her meals when her money runs out or to scrimp on the activities they came prepared to afford. So how about the 3 of you who CAN afford to go speak to her, together, all 3, about what the trip is going to cost and that everyone HAS to contribute equally. Her notion that she can tag along but sleep on the floor in a corner and only eat one meal a day? Isn't going to cut it. Everyone is on the same trip for the same price.

    People don't show up to Disneyland and spring it on their friends that they can't actually afford the ticket.. but they all came in the same car and so the friends buy her ticket so she doesn't have to sit in the car for 12 hours. It's not right. It screams untrustworthy. And it's not right to insist on going on a trip everyone knows she'll only pay half price for because the rest of you WILL end up buying her way at the expense of your own plans. That IS how it'll play out. It's not right. Three of you, not just you, need to clarify this at the same table.

    • JP3 weeks agoReport

      You make a good point. I did think it was weird that she hid the money difference until now. I think that all of us, for all our sakes, need to be on the same page when it comes to realistically how much it’ll be. Thanks

    • Log in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I'd suggest stick to the agreement and leave her alone. If she can't come up with all the money then sadly she can't go. Your suggestions are kind and meant to be helpful but it seems she is taking them the wrong way so I'd suggest you just don't say anything. Just don't bring up the subject anymore.

    • JP3 weeks agoReport

      Yes, think it might be my need for organising worrying me. I guess she’ll just have to work out how much she can afford. Thank you :)

    • Log in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.