Am I obligated to help my friend just because she has anxiety?
I know this girl who's a "friend," but I feel like she's mostly a friend just because we live in the same dorm in college, have the same majors, classes, etc. We hang out outside of class occasionally. She has anxiety and gets very stressed about tests.
Earlier this week, she asked if I could send her my review sheet for an exam we have. I worked really hard on making my review sheet, and even though I didn't want to give away my hard work like it has no value, I gave a copy to her anyways because I could tell she's very stressed about the exam.
Today, she comes into my room crying because she's so stressed about the exam, and my roommate comforts her (my roommate is closer friends with her than I am). After she's done crying, she turns to me and lists off all of the things she still has to do for finals week (which I have to do too), and then she says, "so you're just gonna have to give me the answers to the online chemistry homework." To translate: she wants me to give her the answers to the homework because a) she can't figure it out b) she doesn't want to lose points by clicking "show answer" instead of guessing and c) she's too stressed with everything else.
My question is, am I obligated to help my friend just because she has anxiety and is overwhelmed? I feel like the favor isn't returned most of the time. Example: one time I told her we were all going to take an online quiz for a class together, but she goes behind my back to take it with everyone without telling me.
- MistyLv 58 months ago
Tell her to do her own work. She is taking advantage of you. If her anxiety was that bad she wouldn't be able to stay in school. Everyone has anxiety. Stand up to her.
- ChanelLv 68 months ago
You are not doing her any favors letting her cheat.
- FoofaLv 78 months ago
No, no, no. This person may actually have some mental problems but unless you're a psychologist you can't help her. So refer her to whatever medical clinic exists on campus so she can get the help she needs. Just helping her cheat her way through university isn't going to help her in the long run.
- 8 months ago
You do not owe her anything. You are not her babysitter or watcher.. Tell her to FUKKK offf.
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- Anonymous8 months ago
She's lying about anxiety. She's just an entitled, narcissistic attention seeker. Stop falling for her crocodile tears, if those tears were genuine then she'd do them in private, not in front of everyone so people will run around for her and give her attention.
- EvaLv 78 months ago
You aren't doing her any favors by helping her cheat. If she doesn't know the material, it's going to be an ongoing issue. Don't give her the answers. She may be smarter than she thinks, but she won't know if you do the work for her.
- seedy historyLv 78 months ago
You are never obligated to do someone else's work for them. You are not obligated to help this gal through classes she's not able to handle. There is no long-run pay off for EITHER of you with that choice. College is largely about learning how to think, not how to cheat so you don't have to! Just say, "no" and that you'd not sign her name to a painting you painted or a song you wrote and it's odd that she'd keep asking you to do her work for her. Do you know anyone who tutors for money? Are you willing to tutor for money? You might suggest that.
- David B.Lv 78 months ago
The truth is this girl is using you like a crutch and using her "anxiety" to justify it. In addition, you are acting as an enabler to this ongoing behavior. Leave out the fact that your generosity is not returned in away. The fact is that everyone has a lot of work to do in college. If she spent less time crying on people's shoulders maybe she would have the time needed to do hers! I think you should let her know that you are done handing over the work you have done even before she asks! If you don't put a stop to this in no uncertain terms she is just going to continue taking advantage of you.
- 8 months ago
You're not obligated. A friend wouldn't assume that you'd just do their work for them. She didn't even ask or offer to pay you back for your help or anything? Then don't help her. If tests are stressing her out, then she has a long life ahead of her. Enable her now, and you'll enable her for the rest of her existence.
- Steve GuyLv 68 months ago
No you’re absolutely not obligated to help her. You’re nice if you do, but it sounds like she’s taking advantage of you through her anextity which she probably exaggerates and doesn’t really appreciate your help, but yeah help her if there’s social benefits or if you don’t care about compromising your beliefs about hard work.