A family secret?

My mum told me when i was old enough to understand that her dad/my grandad had died from a road accident when she was just 2. I had no reason to question it, why would i?, up until a family member told me that it wasn't true, he has actually committed suicide..this was back in 1969 and my mum and her two younger siblings where never told the true story, only the adults at the time actually know the true cause of his death. This has winded me that I'm numb with shock. My mum doesn't know, nor does her brother or sister, my grandma (her mum) would have known but never mentioned it. I have been told to never tell my mum as it would destroy her and i know it would, of course but i can't help thinking she has the right to know. I feel incredibly guilty for keeping such a thing away from her.

6 Answers

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  • God
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago
    Best answer

    She has gone 50 years without knowing.  There is no reason to tell her if you think it would hurt her to know the truth.

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    3 weeks ago

    i wouldnt say anything if they asked you not to

  • 3 weeks ago

    It doesn't seem kind of the family member to tell you this. Is it possible that it is a lie? If not, your mother told you what she did because she is a kind, loving and protective mother who didn't want you to get upset or fearful in any way. We cannot change the past, so it might be wiser for you just to accept what has happened and move on with your life. Good Luck!

  • 3 weeks ago

    do not tell your family you know, it would only hurt them and cause a rift between them and the member that told you, lots of families have secrets, some harmless, some devastating, but you will gain nothing from revealing this one, it was kept for a reason, my husband recently found out that his mum had a child while his dad as a p.o.w. that was adopted, only found out by checking on his ancestry and getting birth certificates and his mum lived with that awful secret for 70 years, i cant imagine the hurt that would have come had it been known, you need to have your mums welfare at heart, keep it to yourself, for her sake, this is not about you

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  • Anonymous
    3 weeks ago

    I wouldn't bring it up. Doing ancestry I found all sorts of stuff like that. A murder-suicide in the family of my uncle's wife. I learned the father of my aunt's older half-siblings has died (estranged father). Also, I learned, and this was the best one of all, my great-uncle's wife was married once before him. I asked him about it, and he is not a close relative I see much, and he said "No, no one knows that but my older brothers". Then he smiled and said "I wish you had blurred it out, would have made a great story". Then he called me his soul-mate since I kept it a secret and at that point I was creeped out. He told me though to bring the record to his funeral. I think I'll pass on being that tacky. The wife already died but I guess he wants to wait till he is gone. Problem is he is remarried.

  • 3 weeks ago

    She has a right to know her history. I'd sit her down and tell her.

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